HPD in the Workplace: When Your Colleague’s Need for Attention Becomes Your Problem

PERSONALITY DISORDERS • April 6, 2026

LAST UPDATED: APRIL 2026

When the Spotlight Steals the Show: HPD’s Workday Drama

The conference room lights hum softly overhead, but the energy feels charged, taut like a live wire. Claire sinks into her chair, already bracing herself. The department director strides in, eyes scanning the room as if confirming the audience is ready. Within moments, the meeting has shifted — no longer about urban planning schedules or project updates but about the director’s latest “vision” and personal anecdotes, delivered with a theatrical flair that leaves little room for interruption.

Claire’s hands curl into fists beneath the table. She’s seen this act before — the performance that demands all eyes and admiration, the sudden crises conjured from thin air, the subtle digs at anyone who dares to eclipse the spotlight. It’s exhausting and unsettling, a pattern repeating itself every week, shaping the workplace into a stage where drama is currency and attention is everything.

This is HPD in the workplace — a storm of neediness and manipulation masked in charm and charisma. Unlike the romantic contexts where histrionic personality disorder often shows up through emotional exaggeration and seductive behavior, at work it takes a different shape. The colleague with HPD isn’t wooing a lover; they’re commanding the room, transforming routine meetings into personal showcases. They manufacture crises around deadlines, pulling others into their emotional whirlpools. They cultivate alliances only to dismantle them with whispered betrayals.

Take Agatha, a 36-year-old attorney who’s been managing the fallout from her senior partner’s political crises for three years. Every six weeks, the partner spins a new storm — a sudden conflict, a dramatic shift in priorities, or a sharp critique designed to reassert dominance. Agatha’s inbox overflows with urgent emails, her calendar disrupted by last-minute “fires” to put out. She’s driven and ambitious, but the constant energy drain chips away at her resilience.

The HPD boss plays a different game. Their warmth is as unpredictable as their punishment. They need to be the most important person in every room, the center of every conversation. When attention wanes or shifts, their response quickly turns punitive — undermining colleagues, withholding information, or sowing confusion to regain control. For those like Claire and Agatha, this dynamic is more than a workplace annoyance; it’s a relentless psychological tug-of-war.

In my work with clients facing these challenges, what I see consistently is that driven women often step into the role of unofficial managers of this chaos. They absorb the emotional fallout, cover for erratic behaviors, and try to maintain team cohesion at their own expense. The cost is high: exhaustion, diminished confidence, and sometimes questioning their own worth.

Recognizing these patterns is the first step. Understanding that HPD behaviors in the workplace are driven by a deep, often unconscious, need for attention — not just poor professionalism — opens the door to more strategic responses. In this post, I’ll guide you through practical strategies to protect your boundaries, communicate clearly, and know when to involve HR — all while preserving your own driven ambition and integrity.

What Is HPD in Professional Contexts?

In my work with driven and ambitious women, I often see how Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) manifests differently at work compared to personal or romantic relationships. The core pattern—the intense need for attention and approval—remains the same, but the way it plays out can be uniquely challenging in professional environments. A colleague with HPD tends to make every meeting about themselves, dominating conversations with stories or crises that pull focus away from the team’s real agenda.

This behavior often looks like manufactured drama: sudden deadlines that feel urgent only to them, exaggerated reactions to routine problems, or creating interpersonal conflicts that seem to require their intervention. The colleague might cultivate alliances by flattering certain coworkers or managers, only to tear those relationships down later through gossip or passive-aggressive behavior. This kind of triangulation can destabilize teams and create ongoing tension in the workplace.

When the person with HPD is your boss, the dynamic shifts but remains difficult. Their performance of warmth and charm can be intense and captivating, but it’s often unpredictable and quickly replaced by coldness or punishment if they feel their spotlight is threatened. They need to be seen as the most important person in the room, and any attention taken away from them—whether by an employee’s success or a managerial decision—can trigger punitive responses. This makes it hard to maintain consistent professional boundaries or expectations.

Practical strategies for working with or managing a colleague with HPD include clear, written communication and documentation to avoid confusion or manipulation. Minimizing emotional engagement helps prevent you from getting caught up in their crises or drama. It’s also important to maintain your own strategic visibility—keeping your work and contributions clear and acknowledged—to avoid being overshadowed or undermined. When behavior crosses into disruptive or harmful territory, involving Human Resources becomes necessary. Framing HPD-related behaviors in institutional language—such as “interpersonal conflicts” or “communication challenges”—can help keep the conversation focused on solutions rather than labels.

Ambitious women often find themselves absorbing or managing these dynamics because they tend to take on emotional labor in the workplace. They may cover for or smooth over a colleague’s outbursts, fearing that confrontation will harm team cohesion or their own career prospects. Recognizing this pattern is the first step toward setting boundaries and protecting your professional well-being.

The Neurochemical Stage: How HPD’s Drama Plays Out in the Workplace

In my work with clients navigating the complexities of working alongside colleagues with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD), I see how the core traits of this disorder manifest differently than in romantic or social relationships, yet remain rooted in the same neurobiological drivers. Paul Babiak, PhD, industrial and organizational psychologist and co-author of *Snakes in Suits*, highlights how individuals with personality disorders like HPD engage in what he terms “organizational manipulation patterns.” These colleagues don’t just seek attention—they orchestrate drama to maintain their place in the spotlight, turning routine meetings into stages for their performance.

Unlike the often-intimate dynamics of personal relationships, the workplace introduces a public context where an HPD colleague’s need for validation takes on a strategic quality. You might notice someone who consistently redirects conversations back to themselves during team meetings or one who ignites crises around deadlines that others find manageable. This behavior isn’t accidental; it’s a neurobiological dance driven by dopamine surges linked to attention and reward circuits in the brain, as described by Dr. Robert Hare, PhD, a forensic psychologist well-known for his research on psychopathy and related personality disorders. The unpredictable oscillation between warmth and coldness displayed by an HPD boss or coworker serves to keep others uncertain and focused on them, ensuring their emotional needs are met while maintaining control.

For driven and ambitious women, who often take on the emotional labor of managing workplace relationships, this dynamic can be especially exhausting. The constant need to monitor and respond to the HPD colleague’s volatility means absorbing emotional fallout that detracts from their professional goals. In this environment, your attention isn’t just pulled away from your work—it’s sapped by the imperative to maintain peace or avoid triggering punitive reactions. This is why clear, strategic communication and boundary-setting become crucial.

Practical strategies include documenting interactions meticulously to create an objective record, which is vital when you need to involve HR. Keep communications clear and professional, minimizing emotional engagement to avoid becoming entangled in the colleague’s drama. At the same time, maintain strategic visibility with supervisors to ensure your own contributions are recognized despite the disruptive presence. When escalating the issue, frame behaviors in institutional language—describe patterns of manipulation, disruption of workflow, or breaches of professional conduct—rather than clinical diagnoses, which HR departments are often ill-equipped to handle.

As Babiak notes, understanding the organizational impact of these behaviors is key to protecting both your professional standing and emotional well-being. You’re not just managing a difficult colleague—you’re navigating a neurobiologically driven dynamic that demands intentional strategies to maintain your focus and resilience.

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When Drama Becomes the Daily Grind: How HPD Shows Up for Driven Women at Work

In my work with clients, I often see the telltale signs of histrionic personality disorder (HPD) playing out in ways that look very different from the romantic or family contexts we usually associate with it. At work, the need for attention and manufactured drama morphs into a relentless performance where the HPD colleague becomes the center of every meeting, email chain, and project crisis. Take Agatha, a 36-year-old attorney, whose senior partner has a knack for creating political crises about every six weeks. Agatha has been managing this fallout for over three years and is utterly exhausted. The partner’s unpredictable swings from charm to cold dismissal keep the team on edge, and Agatha often finds herself covering the emotional and practical mess left in the wake.

This pattern is not limited to partners or bosses. Claire, a 38-year-old urban planner, describes how her department director turns every team meeting into a theatrical show. The director’s need to be seen as the most important person in the room leaves little space for others to contribute. Claire has started dreading work in a way she never experienced before, feeling drained by the constant performance and the director’s punitive reactions whenever anyone shifts attention away from them. In these situations, the HPD colleague or boss doesn’t just seek attention—they manufacture crises, fan flames of conflict, and delight in the chaos of alliances formed and quickly broken.

What I see consistently is that the core HPD pattern—urgent need for attention, emotional exaggeration, and triangulation—translates into a toxic workplace dynamic. The colleague who monopolizes meetings, the one who creates last-minute “emergencies” around deadlines, or the boss whose warmth and punishment swing unpredictably, all make the work environment emotionally volatile. For driven women like Agatha and Claire, who are often the unofficial ‘fixers’ in these situations, the emotional labor becomes overwhelming. They absorb the fallout, manage relationships, and try desperately to keep the workplace functional, all while maintaining their own professional responsibilities.

Practical strategies become essential. Documentation is key: recording incidents factually helps protect against the unpredictable swings and potential gaslighting. Clear, concise communication can reduce misunderstandings and limit the space for emotional dramatics. Minimal emotional engagement means keeping boundaries firm—acknowledging the behavior without feeding into it. Strategic visibility, like keeping supervisors or HR informed in a professional, objective manner, helps build institutional support. Knowing when to involve HR is crucial; framing HPD-adjacent behavior in terms of workplace impact—disrupted workflows, lowered team morale, or unprofessional conduct—makes it more actionable within organizational structures.

Driven women often bear this weight because their ambition and commitment make them the natural ‘go-to’ people for crisis management. They want the work done right and the team functioning smoothly, so they step in to absorb the chaos. But this emotional toll can lead to burnout and frustration, especially when the HPD colleague’s behavior goes unaddressed. Recognizing these dynamics and applying practical, clinically informed strategies can help driven women reclaim their energy and maintain professional boundaries despite the ongoing drama.

Navigating the Spotlight: Managing HPD Patterns in Professional Spaces

In my work with clients and organizations, I’ve noticed that histrionic personality disorder (HPD) often looks different in the workplace than it does in romantic or familial contexts. The core pattern remains: a deep need for attention, a tendency to manufacture drama, and a knack for triangulating colleagues against one another. But instead of the intimate, one-on-one dynamics you might expect, HPD at work plays out in meetings, email threads, and power dynamics. The colleague with HPD is often the person who hijacks every conversation, making every meeting all about them. Deadlines become crises, alliances are cultivated with intensity and then suddenly destroyed, leaving teams scrambling to pick up the pieces.

When the HPD pattern shows up in leadership, the stakes get even higher. The HPD boss can be unpredictably warm one moment and cold or punitive the next. Their need to be the most important person in the room often means they respond harshly when attention shifts away from them. This creates an environment where driven and ambitious women—who are frequently the ones managing or covering for these dynamics—feel the emotional and professional toll most acutely. They absorb the instability, smooth over conflicts, and often sacrifice their own needs to keep the peace or protect the team’s goals.

Practical strategies for working with or managing a colleague with HPD require a mix of clear boundaries and strategic communication. Documentation becomes your ally—keeping detailed records of interactions helps protect your work and sets a factual baseline in the face of drama. Clear, concise communication minimizes misunderstandings and reduces openings for manipulation. Emotional detachment is crucial; it’s not about shutting down empathy but about refusing to engage in the emotional rollercoaster they create. Maintaining strategic visibility—making sure your contributions are recognized by others—also helps counterbalance the HPD-driven need for the spotlight.

Knowing when and how to involve Human Resources is essential. Framing HPD-related behaviors in institutional language—such as “interpersonal conflict,” “disruptive communication,” or “unprofessional conduct”—can help HR respond effectively without getting entangled in personality labels. It’s important to document patterns over time and provide concrete examples to support any concerns you raise.

The toll on driven women in these environments can be profound. What I see consistently is that ambitious women often take on the emotional labor of managing HPD colleagues, not because they want to, but because the organizational culture implicitly expects it. This dynamic can lead to burnout, self-doubt, and a sense of invisibility despite their hard work. Recognizing these patterns and enacting practical boundaries isn’t just about protecting yourself; it’s about reclaiming your professional power and fostering healthier workplace cultures.

Both/And: Navigating the Complex Dynamics of HPD at Work

In my work with clients, I often see how the impact of Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) in the workplace is both similar to and distinct from what happens in romantic relationships. Claire, a 38-year-old urban planner, describes her department director as someone who transforms every team meeting into a personal performance. This pattern — the relentless need for attention, the manufactured drama, the shifting alliances — mirrors the core of HPD but plays out in a uniquely professional, often more insidious way. The colleague with HPD might be the one who hijacks conversations, creates crises around deadlines, or strategically pits team members against each other. The HPD boss, like Claire’s director, alternates between charismatic warmth and punitive coldness, always needing to be the center of attention and reacting harshly when their spotlight dims.

The Both/And framework helps us hold these realities simultaneously. On one hand, we recognize that HPD behaviors can be deeply disruptive, exhausting, and even toxic to workplace culture. Agatha, a 36-year-old attorney, has spent three years managing the fallout from her senior partner’s political crises — a role that has left her drained and overwhelmed. On the other hand, we understand that these behaviors stem from complex psychological needs and fears, not just willful manipulation or malice. This dual awareness allows driven women like Agatha and Claire to approach these challenges with both clear boundaries and compassionate insight, protecting their own well-being without losing sight of the underlying human struggles.

In practical terms, working with or managing an HPD colleague requires a strategic mix of documentation, clear communication, minimal emotional engagement, and strategic visibility. Keeping written records of interactions and decisions helps contain the chaos when crises inevitably arise. Communicating expectations and boundaries with precision reduces opportunities for misinterpretation or manipulation. Minimizing emotional reactions prevents the colleague’s drama from hijacking your own focus and energy. And maintaining strategic visibility — ensuring your contributions are recognized independently of the HPD colleague’s performance — safeguards your professional standing. These strategies aren’t about “playing games” but about creating a stable, predictable environment amid the unpredictability.

Knowing when to involve Human Resources is vital. HPD-related behaviors often skirt the line between personality differences and workplace violations. Framing concerns in institutional language — focusing on the impact on team performance, communication breakdowns, or policy violations — helps HR respond effectively without pathologizing the individual. This is especially important for driven women who often become de facto managers or emotional laborers for colleagues with HPD. The toll of absorbing and covering for this behavior can be immense, contributing to burnout and disengagement. Recognizing this dynamic is the first step toward sharing the responsibility and advocating for systemic support.

As Dr. Theodore Millon, PhD, Professor Emeritus of Psychology at Fielding Graduate University, emphasizes, “In workplace settings, addressing personality disorder traits requires balancing empathy with firm boundaries to maintain professional integrity.” For driven and ambitious women navigating this terrain, the Both/And approach offers a roadmap: acknowledging the complexity of HPD behaviors while prioritizing your own mental health and career goals. It’s not about fixing the colleague or boss — it’s about managing your environment with clinical wisdom and practical strategies that honor both your ambition and your well-being.

The Systemic Lens: Unpacking HPD Dynamics Within Workplace Structures

In my work with clients navigating workplace challenges, what I see consistently is that Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) manifests differently at work than in romantic or personal relationships—but the core pattern remains the same. The need for attention, the creation of drama, and the strategic triangulation are still there, just repackaged for professional settings. The colleague with HPD might be the one who dominates every meeting, turning it into a stage for their personal narrative. They create crises around deadlines not because of actual risk but to draw focus to themselves. They’re masters at cultivating alliances and then dismantling them, ensuring the environment stays unstable and centered on their presence.

When the HPD personality is in a leadership role, these behaviors become even more complex. The HPD boss alternates between warm, charismatic engagement and punitive coldness, a performance designed to keep everyone guessing and, crucially, keep the spotlight on them. They need to be seen as the most important person in the room, and anything that threatens that—whether it’s an achievement by a subordinate or a focus on another issue—can trigger disproportionate retaliation. This creates a toxic dynamic, especially for driven women who often find themselves trying to maintain professionalism while absorbing the emotional fallout.

From a structural and gendered perspective, this dynamic is compounded. Ambitious women in professional environments frequently take on the invisible labor of managing, absorbing, or covering for these disruptive behaviors. This labor rarely gets recognized or rewarded, yet it consumes emotional and cognitive resources crucial for their own career advancement. Research by Dr. Joan C. Chrisler, Professor of Psychology at Connecticut College, highlights how women in workplace settings often become “emotional laborers,” managing not just their work but the emotional climates created by others, including those with personality-disorder-adjacent behaviors.

Practically speaking, working with or managing a colleague with HPD demands clear boundaries and strategies. Documentation becomes essential—record interactions, especially when your colleague’s crises impact deadlines or team dynamics. Clear, concise communication helps prevent misunderstandings and limits opportunities for manipulation. Minimizing emotional engagement protects your well-being, as does cultivating strategic visibility: make your contributions known in ways that can’t be overshadowed by HPD-driven theatrics. When these behaviors escalate or disrupt the workplace significantly, involving HR is necessary. Frame the behavior in institutional language—focus on performance, deadlines, team impact—rather than diagnostic terms, which often carry stigma and lack clarity in organizational contexts.

Understanding HPD in the workplace through this systemic lens reveals not only the individual’s patterns but the broader structures that allow these dynamics to persist. It’s a reminder that the burden often falls on driven women who manage not just their own ambitions but the emotional turbulence created by colleagues with HPD. Addressing this requires both personal strategies and institutional awareness to create healthier, more equitable professional environments.

Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD)

HPD is a personality disorder characterized by a pervasive pattern of attention-seeking behavior, emotional over-expressiveness, and a need for approval.

In plain terms: HPD means someone often acts dramatically or seeks lots of attention to feel important or secure.

Finding Your Ground: Healing and Moving Forward Amid HPD Dynamics at Work

In my work with clients navigating the turbulence of Cluster B personality disorder behaviors in the workplace, I see a distinct pattern emerge—one that’s both familiar and uniquely challenging compared to romantic contexts. The colleague with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD) isn’t just seeking attention in personal relationships; they transform workspaces into stages for constant performance. They make every meeting about themselves, manufacture crises around deadlines that don’t need to exist, and skillfully create alliances only to tear them down, leaving confusion and exhaustion in their wake. Recognizing these patterns is the first step toward reclaiming your professional space and emotional well-being.

When the HPD figure is your boss, the dynamic shifts but the core need for attention remains unchanged. This boss may oscillate unpredictably between warmth and punishment, always needing to be the center of the room’s spotlight. Any moment that doesn’t revolve around them can trigger a punitive reaction. This performance of power can feel destabilizing, leaving driven women especially vulnerable. In many professional environments, ambitious women often absorb the emotional labor of managing these dynamics—smoothing over chaos, covering for unpredictability, and managing the fallout—while trying to maintain their own focus and productivity.

Practical strategies become essential tools for survival and healing. Documentation is your anchor: keep clear, factual records of communications and deadlines to protect yourself from manufactured chaos. Clarity in communication helps limit misunderstandings—use direct, concise language and avoid engaging in emotional back-and-forth that fuels the drama. Minimal emotional engagement is not about coldness; it’s about preserving your emotional energy by setting boundaries around what you take on. Strategic visibility—making sure your contributions are noticed by others—helps counterbalance the overshadowing effect of an HPD colleague or boss’s need for attention.

Knowing when and how to involve Human Resources is also critical. Frame personality-disorder-adjacent behaviors in institutional language: focus on the impact of these behaviors on workflow, team cohesion, and professional standards rather than on labels or diagnoses. This approach helps keep the conversation objective and grounded, increasing the likelihood of effective intervention. Remember, it’s not about “fixing” the colleague but protecting your own professional integrity and mental health.

Healing in this context means reclaiming your boundaries, your voice, and your sense of safety in the workplace. It’s about recognizing that you don’t have to carry the emotional weight of someone else’s compulsive need for attention. The path forward isn’t easy, but it’s deeply empowering. You can learn to navigate these relationships with intention and care for yourself in the process.

To the driven and ambitious women reading this: you’re not alone in this struggle. The emotional labor you carry is real and valid. Taking steps to protect your well-being doesn’t make you less kind or less capable—it makes you wise. Together, we can untangle the chaos and find a way to thrive, even when the spotlight feels overwhelming.

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If what you’ve read here resonates, I want you to know that individual therapy and executive coaching are available for driven women ready to do this work. You can also explore my self-paced recovery courses or schedule a complimentary consultation to find the right fit.

(PMID: 1845222) (PMID: 1845222)

Related Reading

Kernberg, Otto F. Borderline Conditions and Pathological Narcissism. Jason Aronson, 1975.

Millon, Theodore, et al. Personality Disorders in Modern Life. Wiley, 2011.

Levine, Stephen B., and Victoria L. B. Campbell. Handbook of Psychotherapy for the Treatment of Personality Disorders. American Psychiatric Publishing, 2007.

Ronningstam, Elsa. Narcissistic Personality Disorder: A Clinical Perspective. Jason Aronson, 2005.

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