Without a doubt, it’s mine.
I love stories.
I love the stories of real life people in particular.
Before I read one sentence of a new book, I turn to the back of the book jacket to read more about the author.
When I hear of a new person on a TV show, movie, or in the news that I don’t know, I Wikipedia them.
When I’m washing the dishes or folding laundry at night after my daughter goes to bed, I have my AirPods in, listening to autobiographies on Audible.
How they started out in life, what their path was like, what their family was like, what their education was, and what variables (both challenges and opportunities) held them back, propelled them forward, and shaped them into the person they are today.
I really do love people’s stories.
And now I want to share some of my story with you so that you know who’s writing these words, who the person behind this body of work is.
This is my digital book jacket. This is my little biography corner of the internet.
So, the long and short of things is that I come from a relational trauma background.
But it wasn’t until my mid twenties that I knew to call it that.
And it wasn’t until my early thirties that I understood how to overcome it.
Now, at 42, I’m a relational trauma recovery specialist.
What that means is that I’m a licensed psychotherapist known for helping the adult children of mood- and personality-disordered parents overcome their painful pasts to create beautiful futures for themselves, no matter where they started out in life.
Those are the broad brush strokes. Now here’s some detail…
I grew up on an island off the coast of Maine, with one – in my opinion – very destructive and highly dysfunctional parent, and another who did their limited best to try to mitigate the impacts of this kind of person on a child’s life and psyche.
But in so many ways, it wasn’t enough.
There were good times in the early days, yes.
But there was also much more fear, loneliness, emotional and mental abuse, dire concerns for physical safety, and many overwhelming and traumatic experiences which my child and adolescent mind, body, and soul couldn’t process at the time.
And the chaos and tumult of my early life didn’t stop when that actively abusive parent left.
Or even when they legally disowned me at age 11.
The effect and impacts of coming from a relational trauma history, from the enduring conditions inherent to a dysfunctional, abusive, chaotic or neglectful family system, leaves one with a constellation of complex symptoms and impacts that can linger long after childhood ends.
I coped with my complex trauma symptoms – with the somatic, mental, and emotional chaos resulting from my childhood – as best I could as a kid and adolescent.
One of my more adaptive coping mechanisms included throwing myself into academics and work, which led to becoming the first person in my family to go to college (the Ivy League no less) and later serving in the Peace Corps in Uzbekistan.
(My less adaptive coping mechanisms are stories for another time…)
But around that time in the Peace Corps, through a confluence of events that triggered implicit memories for me—including the 2005 Andijan massacre and an abrupt termination of service—my own relational trauma history, which I’d been relentlessly running from and pretending didn’t exist, finally, and somewhat paralyzingly, caught up with me.
The jig was up. The payment due. I had to face the past in order to have a future.
So at age 25, I took a major detour from my post-Peace Corps life in Washington, DC to move out to the fabled Esalen Institute on the cliffs of Big Sur, California to try and heal.
To figure things out.
To create a life more worthwhile.
A leap of faith, a one-way ticket to California with only the expectation of staying there a month turned into nearly four years spent living, working, studying, apprenticing, and healing at Esalen.
That precious, formative time not only jumpstarted my personal growth path, but also led to marrying a very good and kind man I met there (we have a daughter now, too), and, in time, becoming a licensed psychotherapist who specializes in the very content area I worked so hard to overcome.
Those years at Esalen combined with my rigorous graduate school training, the decade I’ve been in practice as a licensed, clinical psychotherapist, and the advanced post-graduate complex trauma trainings and studying I’ve steeped myself in have taught me how to heal and overcome my own relational trauma history and how to help others do the same.
For a small handful of clients residing in California or Florida, I offer one-on-one weekly therapy.
I also founded and run a boutique therapy center that serves clients all over California and Florida, so when I’m unable to work with you personally as your therapist, my team of excellent, trauma-informed clinicians at my center can support you.
And for everyone, no matter where in the world you live, you can enroll in my transformative relational trauma recovery online course.
Finally, I’ve written over 200+ high quality mental health essays which you can find on this website. I also write a monthly column for Psychology Today and my clinical opinions and thoughts have been featured in the press and media 120+ times including in outlets such as Business Insider, Forbes, NBC, The Huffington Post, Buzzfeed, and more. You can sample my work and gain my guidance through those essays and articles, too.
That’s the big terrible irony of being a trauma therapist: I hope that someday I’m unemployable because no one will need what I offer.
But while there remains a need – while people search Google late at night wondering if their childhood was traumatic, or desperately trying to cope with a narcissistic father or a borderline mother, or asking the internet search bar “When will I stop feeling sad about my childhood?” my work is here to help.
I’m here to help you.
So that’s my digital book jacket.
If what I shared here resonated, I hope you’ll peek a little deeper into this corner of the internet, this crafted and curated collection of resources, thoughts, stories, tools, and information on relational trauma recovery so that you can feel better in your own life.
Spend some time in on the extensive blog (and scroll through the blog comments to find your kindred spirits), take the signature quiz, consider enrolling in my online course, and if you would like to work with me directly, if you would like me to be your therapist, please reach out to my offices so we can explore working together. A member of my team will get back to you right away.
Now, as we wrap up this digital book jacket I want to share what I truly, bone-deeply believe:
And so, whoever you are and however you found this website, if you’re looking for transformation and change in your own life, you’ve found the right place.
I’m so very glad that you’re here.
Warmly,
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist #95719.
California Institute of Integral Studies, Masters in Counseling Psychology, 2012.
Brown University, dual BA’s, 2004.
Member, EMDRIA, #60710950
Florida Telehealth Provider (TPMF356)
Complex Trauma Certification Training Levels 1 & 2 (CCTP/CCTP-II) | Janina Fisher, Ph.D., and Bessel Van Der Kolk | (in progress)
Integrative Approach to Treating Trauma: Blending IFS, Sensorimotor, Mindfulness, Psychoeducation, and More | Janina Fisher | May 2022
Chronic Suicidality and Self Destructive Behavior | Janina Fisher | May 2022
Advanced PTSD Case Conceptualization | Stephanie Sacks, Ph.D. | May 2022
EMDR-Certified Therapist | EMDRIA | July 2021
Attachment-Focused EMDR – Healing Developmental Deficits and Adults Abused as Children | Laurell Parnell, Ph.D. | June 2021
EMDR Basic Training | Sonoma Psychotherapy Training Institute | December 2019