70 Inspirational Quotes for Women Who Are Struggling (Specifically, Tonight)
If you found this page tonight, you’re not looking for cheerful slogans. You’re looking for someone to say the true thing out loud. This collection of 70 carefully chosen quotes is organized by what you actually need to hear. From naming the unsayable, to witnessing what you carry, to giving yourself permission to not have it figured out yet. There’s also some clinical context for why words find us when they do.
Last reviewed: June 2026 by Annie Wright, LMFT
- The Bathroom Floor at 11:52 PM
- Why Quotes Find Us When They Do
- The Science of Being Moved by Words
- Quotes That Say the Unsayable
- For Women Who Carry Everything
- Both/And: You Are Struggling and You Are Not Failing
- The Systemic Lens: Why You’re Searching for Permission
- On Being Broken Open, Not Broken. And What Comes Next
- Frequently Asked Questions
Carefully chosen quotes for women who are struggling function differently from motivational slogans: they name the unsayable, offer permission to feel what’s already true, and create a felt sense of not being alone in the dark. This collection of 70 quotes is organized by emotional need rather than by theme, so a woman can find the right words for exactly where she is tonight. The categories move from naming the pain, through permission and witness, to the possibility of what comes next. In my work with driven women, the right words at the right moment can be the first crack of light in a very long night.
In short: This collection of 70 quotes for struggling women is organized by emotional need, not theme, so you can find the exact words for where you actually are right now.
If your nervous system learned the safest way to exist was to manage everyone else's world, my self-paced course Enough Without the Effort is the recovery map.
Annie Wright, LMFT, has curated this collection from more than 15,000 clinical hours of witnessing what words land for women in their hardest moments. Judith Herman, MD, psychiatrist and trauma researcher, documents that naming and witnessing experience is itself a foundational act of recovery (Herman 1992).
The Bathroom Floor at 11:52 PM
The grout between the tiles is slightly uneven. Kira has been noticing it for ten minutes. The way the lines don’t quite match up, the small imperfection in what should have been a perfectly tiled surface. She’s thirty-three, a corporate attorney, and she is very good at noticing when things don’t line up.
The city sounds twelve floors below. Not loud enough to name as noise, just a low hum that says: other people are still moving. She’s not moving. She’s on the bathroom floor, back against the cabinet, the cool tile pressing through her shirt, and she is finding this, inexplicably, a little bit helpful.
Her phone is face-up on the bathmat beside her. She typed “inspirational quotes for women” and then her thumb paused on the word “struggling.” She left it. She pressed search anyway.
She isn’t in crisis. She wants to be clear about that, even just to herself. She’s not in danger. She’s just. Not okay in the way she thought she would have figured out how to be okay by now. It’s been one year since the relationship ended. He said she wasn’t present enough. She’s not sure he was wrong. What she knows is that she is thirty-three years old, she has built a life that looks like the life she was supposed to build, and at 11:52 PM on a Wednesday she is sitting on her bathroom floor thinking: I am not the woman I thought I was going to be by now.
This collection is for Kira. It’s also for you. Whoever you are, wherever you are, whatever tile floor or couch cushion or car seat you’ve landed on tonight. You don’t have to explain the specifics. You don’t have to have it be worse than it is. You don’t have to be in crisis to deserve words that hold you. You just have to be here, and struggling, and looking for something that says the real thing out loud.
These 70 quotes are organized by what you might actually need tonight. Not by vibes. Not by motivational category. By the specific interior terrain of women who are living real, complex, exhausting lives. And who need, right now, to feel less alone in them.
Why Quotes Find Us When They Do
There’s something that happens when a piece of language says exactly what you’ve been unable to say. You feel it before you understand it. A kind of landing, a cellular recognition, the sensation of something clicking into place. If you’ve ever read a sentence and thought “that’s it, that’s the thing” while simultaneously feeling your eyes fill, you know what I mean.
In my work with clients, I’ve noticed that women often reach for quotes and poetry at the exact moments when their own words have failed them. It’s not a lack of intelligence. It’s a sign that something real is happening. Something that lives in the body, in the nervous system, in the pre-verbal place that existed before we learned to explain ourselves. When language can’t get there, sometimes someone else’s language can.
What you’re doing when you search for quotes tonight isn’t passive. It’s actually an act of self-tending. A quiet signal from one part of you to another that says: I need something. I’m going to go look for it. That impulse is worth honoring. If you’d like to understand more about the relational patterns that might be underneath tonight’s search, you might find the full guide to uplifting quotes for hard times useful as a companion read.
Defined by Kristin Neff, PhD, associate professor of educational psychology at the University of Texas at Austin, self-compassion involves treating yourself with the same kindness and care you would offer a good friend in the same situation. Neff’s research has specifically documented that women who internalize high standards tend to have lower baseline self-compassion scores than men. Meaning the woman searching for quotes at midnight is statistically more likely to be her own harshest critic.
In plain terms: The fact that you searched for these quotes tonight means part of you is already trying to give yourself something. That’s what self-compassion looks like from the inside. Before it looks like anything else. You don’t have to feel it fully yet. The reaching is enough.
The Science of Being Moved by Words
Here’s something worth knowing about tonight, and about every night you’ve ever found yourself searching for words that hold you: the reason language moves you is not weakness. It’s neurology.
Kristin Neff, PhD, whose self-compassion research we just looked at, has also documented something specific about women and self-criticism: women are more likely than men to engage in what she calls the “self-critic loop”. A pattern where falling short of an internalized standard triggers shame, which triggers more self-criticism, which produces more shame. What disrupts this loop, her research shows, is not positive thinking or better performance. It’s the experience of feeling witnessed and not judged. A quote that says the true thing out loud can provide a micro-version of that experience. It’s not a substitute for the real thing, but it’s also not nothing.
Brené Brown, PhD, research professor at the University of Houston and author of Daring Greatly, has spent two decades studying shame and vulnerability. Her research consistently shows that shame thrives in silence and secrecy. And that what counters shame isn’t happiness or achievement, but connection and the experience of being known. When a quote says what you couldn’t say, it creates a tiny thread of connection. You’re no longer alone in the language.
A term used in self-compassion research to describe the cyclical pattern in which perceived failure or shortcoming triggers shame, which activates self-critical thought, which intensifies the shame response. Creating a feedback loop that is difficult to exit through effort or achievement alone. Documented across Neff’s research, this loop is more pronounced in populations who have internalized high standards of performance.
In plain terms: If you’ve ever tried to think your way out of feeling bad about yourself and found that it only made you feel worse about how bad you feel. That’s the loop. You’re not broken. You’re in a pattern that responds to compassion, not correction.
Quotes That Say the Unsayable
These are the quotes for what you can’t bring yourself to say out loud. The thoughts that feel too self-pitying, too raw, too much. The ones you might feel ashamed of having. They’re here because someone else already said them, which means you’re allowed to feel them too.
On exhaustion that isn’t just physical:
“I am tired of being tired and talking about how tired I am.”. Amy Poehler, Yes Please
“I have accepted fear as a part of life. Specifically the fear of change. I have gone ahead despite the pounding in the heart that says: turn back.”. Erica Jong
“You may shoot me with your words, you may cut me with your eyes, you may kill me with your hatefulness, but still, like air, I’ll rise.”. Maya Angelou
“My silences had not protected me. Your silence will not protect you.”. Audre Lorde, The Cancer Journals
“I don’t want to have lived in vain like most people. I want to be useful or bring enjoyment to all people, even those I’ve never met.”. Anne Frank
“It’s not the load that breaks you down, it’s the way you carry it.”. Lena Horne
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”. Louisa May Alcott
“The wound is the place where the Light enters you.”. Rumi
“Sometimes I feel everything at once and nothing at all.”. (widely attributed; origin uncertain, but the feeling is not)
“She was never quite ready. But she was brave, and the universe liked that.”. Atticus
“Rock bottom became the solid foundation on which I rebuilt my life.”. J.K. Rowling
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”. Carl Jung
“I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”. Galileo (attributed)
“The most painful thing is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much.”. Ernest Hemingway
“She is clothed in strength and dignity, and she laughs without fear of the future.”. Proverbs 31:25
Whether you’re religious or not, there’s something in this verse about the idea that dignity is already present. That it’s worn, not earned. If you’ve been waiting to feel worthy of dignity until you get something right, this one is a counter-argument.
For more words in this vein, the collection of inspirational quotes for driven women offers additional quotes specifically curated for the woman whose inner life doesn’t match her outer accomplishments.
For Women Who Carry Everything
There’s a particular kind of woman who reads about invisible labor and thinks: yes, but also I’d feel guilty naming it. These quotes are for her. They don’t ask you to feel less. They ask you to be seen in what you’re carrying.
On the weight that doesn’t show up on any official list:
“I have come to believe over and over again that what is most important to me must be spoken, made verbal and shared, even at the risk of having it bruised or misunderstood.”. Audre Lorde, The Cancer Journals
“The most difficult thing is the decision to act, the rest is merely tenacity.”. Amelia Earhart
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”. Eleanor Roosevelt
“Whatever you are, be a good one.”. Abraham Lincoln (and yes, women get to claim this too)
“Courage is like. It’s a habitus, a habit, a virtue: you get it by courageous acts. It’s like you learn to swim by swimming. You learn courage by couraging.”. Mary Daly
“I am not a graceful person. I am not a Sunday morning or a cool breeze. I am a hurricane wrapped in skin, and even in the trenches, I find ways to survive.”. (widely shared; origin debated)
“A woman is like a tea bag. You can’t tell how strong she is until you put her in hot water.”. Eleanor Roosevelt (attributed)
“There is no force more powerful than a woman determined to rise.”. W.E.B. Du Bois (widely attributed)
“I am not lucky. You know what I am? I am smart, I am talented, I take advantage of the opportunities that come my way and I work really, really hard.”. Shonda Rhimes
“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves.”. Marie Curie
“Think like a queen. A queen is not afraid to fail. Failure is another stepping stone to greatness.”. Oprah Winfrey
“Each time a woman stands up for herself, without knowing it possibly, without claiming it, she stands up for all women.”. Maya Angelou
“The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who’s going to stop me.”. Ayn Rand
“I stand in the ring in the dead city and tie on the red shoes… they are not mine, they are my mother’s, her mother’s before, handed down like the family name, like the family shame.”
ANNE SEXTON, “The Red Shoes,” poet and Pulitzer Prize winner, writing on inheritance, performance, and the weight women carry across generations
Sexton’s red shoes are the shoes of inherited pressure. The ones you didn’t choose, the ones that were already there when you arrived, the ones that have been mistaken for your own ambition for so long you’ve stopped questioning the fit. If you’ve been carrying something you didn’t originate, you’re carrying more than your share. The self-love quotes collection has more words for this particular weight, the kind that belongs to lineage rather than personal failing.
I want to name something here that doesn’t always get named: the woman who carries everything often doesn’t know she’s doing it until she stops. Not because she’s unaware , she’s usually extremely aware. But because the carrying has been normalized for so long that stopping feels more alarming than continuing. If you’re in that particular flavor of exhaustion, trauma-informed coaching can be a way to start examining what’s yours to carry and what isn’t.
Nadia, a 39-year-old physician and mother of two, described it in our sessions this way: she said she felt like she was always holding a stack of plates, and that her job was to keep them all spinning, and that she had gotten so good at it that no one in her life had any idea there was ever a risk of one falling. “The worst part,” she said, “is that I’m not even sure I know what I’d do if I put them down.” That’s not weakness. That’s a skill that’s become a prison. And it’s one of the most common things I see in driven women who find themselves on the floor at midnight, looking for something to hold onto.
Both/And: You Are Struggling and You Are Not Failing
Here is the thing I want to say as clearly as I possibly can, and I want you to read it twice: you are allowed to be struggling AND nothing about your struggle means you are failing. Those two things are not in tension. They are both true at the same time, in the same body. In the same Tuesday. In the same bathroom.
The cultural narrative about women who struggle is almost always one of two things: either the struggle is a sign of weakness and inadequacy, or the struggle is a noble crucible that you must burn through in order to emerge stronger and more inspiring to others. Both of these narratives are doing something harmful. The first one tells you that struggling means something is wrong with you. The second one tells you that your pain only has value if it produces something useful. Neither of them just lets you be struggling. Present tense, in progress, without a lesson yet.
These quotes are for that space. The one where you’re allowed to be exactly where you are.
“Out of suffering have emerged the strongest souls; the most massive characters are seared with scars.”. Khalil Gibran
“I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship.”. Louisa May Alcott, Little Women
“The curious paradox is that when I accept myself just as I am, then I can change.”. Carl Rogers
“Imperfections are not inadequacies; they are reminders that we’re all in this together.”. Brené Brown
“The only way out is through.”. Robert Frost
“Even the darkest night will end and the sun will rise.”. Victor Hugo, Les Misérables
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do.”. Brené Brown
“She made broken look beautiful and strong look invincible. She walked with the universe on her shoulders and made it look like a pair of wings.”. Ariana Dancu
“What makes you vulnerable makes you beautiful.”. Brené Brown
“You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face.”. Eleanor Roosevelt
“Healing is not linear. And neither are you.”. (widely attributed; origin uncertain)
“The most common form of despair is not being who you are.”. Søren Kierkegaard
The Both/And frame matters because it refuses the false choice. You don’t have to choose between “struggling” and “okay.” You don’t have to decide whether what you’re feeling is legitimate or excessive, proportionate or overblown. It can be hard AND you can survive it. It can hurt AND you can be in process. You can be on the bathroom floor at midnight AND you can be, in some fundamental and undiminished way, doing fine. These are not contradictions. They’re the truth.
The Systemic Lens: Why You’re Searching for Permission
I want to say something about the act you performed tonight that you might not have thought of as an act: you searched for “inspirational quotes for women who are struggling.” And then, importantly, you didn’t delete it. You let the word “struggling” stay.
This is the systemic layer underneath tonight’s search. The fact that you had to look for permission, that you needed someone else to say the true thing first, is not a personal failing. It’s the predictable result of growing up in a world that doesn’t extend much permission to women to be visibly undone. It’s the predictable result of growing up in a world that doesn’t extend much permission to women to be visibly undone.
You've been holding everything together. You're allowed to put some down.
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“I am not free while any woman is unfree, even when her shackles are very different from my own.”. Audre Lorde
“When you are struggling and you need to find sources of strength, look to your community.”. Michelle Obama, Becoming
“Feminism isn’t about making women strong. Women are already strong. It’s about changing the way the world perceives that strength.”. G.D. Anderson
“The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it.”. Roseanne Barr
“We still live in a world in which a significant fraction of people, including women, believe that a woman belongs and wants to belong exclusively in the home.”. Rosalyn Yalow
“The world needs strong women. Women who will lift and build others, who will love and be loved. Women who live bravely, both tender and fierce.”. Amy Tenney
What I want you to hold is this: searching for these quotes tonight is itself a quiet act of courage. It’s permission-seeking in a world that doesn’t give women enough of it. And the fact that you’re doing it is evidence of something functioning well in you. The part that knows you deserve to be held by something, even if only by words on a screen. That impulse is worth trusting.
If you’ve been performing okayness for a long time and you’re starting to wonder what it would look like to not have to. The free consultation is a place to explore that. No performance required.
On Being Broken Open, Not Broken. And What Comes Next
There’s a distinction that I think matters enormously, and it doesn’t get named enough: there’s a difference between being broken and being broken open. Broken implies something has been damaged beyond repair. Structural failure, irreversible loss of integrity. Broken open implies something different: the shell cracking to reveal what was always inside. Not destruction. Exposure.
The quotes in this section are from women who made it through. Not women who avoided the breaking, but women who were cracked open by it and found something on the other side. They’re offered not as a promise that your pain will produce something useful, but as testimony. Evidence that others have been here. That the floor doesn’t stay forever.
First-person testimony from those who went through:
“I have been broken. I have been made stronger in the broken places.”. Hemingway (A Farewell to Arms). And yes, women get to claim this too
“You were given this life because you are strong enough to live it.”. (widely attributed)
“The most beautiful people we have known are those who have known defeat, known suffering, known struggle, known loss, and have found their way out of the depths.”. Elisabeth Kübler-Ross
“She is a mess of gorgeous chaos and you can see it in her eyes.”. (widely shared; origin uncertain)
“One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman.”. Simone de Beauvoir, The Second Sex
“Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?”. Mary Oliver, “The Summer Day”
On not having to have it figured out yet:
“It’s okay to be a work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time.”. (widely attributed)
“You don’t have to be perfect to be amazing.”. (widely shared)
“Give yourself the same compassion you would give a good friend.”. Kristin Neff, PhD
“In the middle of difficulty lies opportunity.”. Albert Einstein
“Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying ‘I will try again tomorrow.’”. Mary Anne Radmacher
“Start where you are. Use what you have. Do what you can.”. Arthur Ashe
“Not until we are lost do we begin to understand ourselves.”. Henry David Thoreau
“Perhaps everything terrible is in its deepest being something helpless that wants help from us.”. Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet
Rilke’s framing is the one I keep returning to in my work with clients: that the painful thing is often the part of you that doesn’t yet know how to be helped. Not the enemy. Not the proof that you’re broken. The helpless thing calling for attention. If that framing resonates, therapy is where you can learn to be curious about it rather than afraid of it.
A few more for tonight:
“Do not go gentle into that good night.”. Dylan Thomas
“The place God calls you to is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”. Frederick Buechner
“She was powerful not because she wasn’t scared but because she went on so strongly, despite the fear.”. Atticus
“There is something in every one of you that waits and listens for the sound of the genuine in yourself.”. Howard Thurman
“I carry your heart with me, I carry it in my heart.”. E.e. cummings
“Whatever you are doing, love yourself for doing it.”. Thaddeus Golas
“Be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe no less than the trees and the stars.”. Max Ehrmann, “Desiderata”
“Even if it takes a long time, the healing comes.”. (broadly attributed)
What comes next isn’t a fixed destination. In my clinical experience, what usually comes next is smaller than we imagine: one conversation we’ve been avoiding. One afternoon we stop performing. One search term we don’t delete. Sometimes it’s a session with a therapist. Sometimes it’s a course you do slowly, at your own pace. Sometimes it’s just getting up off the bathroom floor, getting a glass of water, and going to bed with a little less alone-ness than you started with tonight.
The Strong & Stable newsletter is where I write, most Sundays, for women who are in exactly this place. Not in crisis, but not quite okay yet, looking for honest words about the complicated interior lives of driven women. It’s free, and it’s the thing I hear back about more than anything else I make.
If tonight has clarified that what you’re navigating is bigger than quotes can hold , if you’re aware that there’s something underneath the exhaustion that keeps coming back. The next step isn’t to figure it all out. It’s to talk to someone. Reaching out for a consult is a small act. You can do a small act. You already did one tonight, when you left the word “struggling” in your search.
Kira eventually got off the bathroom floor. She got a glass of water, looked out at the city lights, and went to bed. She didn’t have it figured out. She still doesn’t, not entirely. But she woke up the next morning and made an appointment. Not because she was ready, not because she had hit rock bottom, not because there was a crisis requiring intervention. Just because the bathroom floor at midnight had finally given her enough quiet to hear herself say: I deserve more than this. That’s the beginning. That’s actually all the beginning requires.
Q: Why does it feel harder to be gentle with myself than with anyone else?
A: Kristin Neff’s research offers a direct answer: women who internalize high standards tend to have significantly lower baseline self-compassion than men, and also lower than the standards they hold for others. Part of this is socialized , women are trained to be caretakers of others’ emotions and experiences, and that orientation tends to make self-directed care feel foreign or even selfish. Part of it is the internalized critic: the voice that says you should be doing better, handling more, needing less. The gentleness you extend so readily to others is the exact same gentleness you deserve. The difficulty in accessing it for yourself isn’t a character flaw. It’s a pattern that can be worked with.
Q: Is there a reason quotes by women resonate differently than quotes by men?
A: Often, yes, though not always. Quotes by women about struggle tend to carry a particular texture that many women recognize: the awareness of being watched and judged while struggling, the guilt of not handling everything perfectly, the specific exhaustion of carrying emotional and domestic labor alongside professional demands. Audre Lorde writing about silence, Maya Angelou writing about rising, Mary Oliver writing about permission. These voices have a precision about the female experience that can feel like being spoken to directly rather than generically. That said, some of the most resonant quotes here come from men because the human experience of suffering crosses gender. Trust what moves you, regardless of who wrote it.
Q: What’s the difference between inspiration and bypassing the actual work?
A: This is a sharp and important question. Inspiration that functions as bypass typically has a particular quality: it provides a temporary elevation of feeling without any corresponding shift in understanding or behavior. You feel better for twenty minutes and then feel worse when the feeling fades, sometimes with added self-criticism for not being able to hold onto it. Inspiration that actually helps tends to do something different , it names something true, creates a moment of recognition or reduced aloneness, and leaves a small residue that stays. The test isn’t whether you feel good after reading a quote; it’s whether something in you was seen or clarified. If quotes are consistently functioning as avoidance of something that needs to be addressed, that’s worth noticing. And potentially worth exploring with a therapist.
Q: How do I know if I need quotes tonight or if I need a professional?
A: A few signals that suggest it’s time to talk to a professional rather than or in addition to seeking out words: you’ve been in this place repeatedly and nothing changes; what you’re feeling is interfering with your ability to function at work, in relationships, or with basic self-care; you’re using alcohol, substances, or behaviors to manage feelings; you have thoughts of harming yourself. If any of these are present, please reach out. The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is 988, and crisis text lines are also available. For the more ambiguous middle ground: if quotes help for a few minutes and then you’re right back in the same place, that’s often a sign that the underlying pattern needs attention that words alone can’t provide. That’s not a reason to feel worse about searching. It’s a reason to also consider support.
Q: What does it mean that I keep searching for these quotes but they only help for a few minutes?
A: It usually means you’re looking for something that quotes can gesture toward but not fully provide: the sustained experience of being seen, held, and not judged. Quotes can create a moment of recognition. What most of us need in sustained difficulty is relationship. With a therapist, a trusted friend, a community. The search itself is important data: it tells you that part of you knows you need something, is reaching toward it, and has been doing this long enough to notice the pattern. That’s actually a significant level of self-awareness. The next step is usually to let that awareness translate into asking for something more consistent than a search result can offer.
Related Reading
Brown, Brené. Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York: Gotham Books, 2012.
Neff, Kristin. Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself. New York: William Morrow, 2011.
Lorde, Audre. The Cancer Journals. San Francisco: Aunt Lute Books, 1980. (Special Edition, 1997.)
Oliver, Mary. Upstream: Selected Essays. New York: Penguin Press, 2016.
Angelou, Maya. I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings. New York: Random House, 1969.
Neff, Kristin D. “The Role of Self-Compassion in Development: A Healthier Way to Relate to Oneself.” Human Development 52, no. 4 (2009): 211, 214. https://doi.org/10.1159/000215071
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Annie Wright is a licensed psychotherapist (LMFT #95719) and trauma-informed executive coach with over 15,000 clinical hours. She works with driven women, including Silicon Valley leaders, physicians, and entrepreneurs, in repairing the psychological foundations beneath their impressive lives. Building what she calls the internal architecture of a sustainable life. Annie is the founder and former CEO of Evergreen Counseling, a multimillion-dollar trauma-informed therapy center she built, scaled, and successfully exited. A regular contributor to Psychology Today, her expert commentary has appeared in USA Today, Forbes, Business Insider, Inc., NBC, and The Information. She is currently writing her first book with W.W. Norton.
Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist (LMFT #95719)
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Regular contributor to Psychology Today. Expert commentary has appeared in USA Today, Forbes, Business Insider, Inc., NBC, and The Information.
