Smash the Lies, Discover the Awesome! — Sorta Awesome Ep. 114 | Transcript

Episode Introduction

Welcome to episode 114 of the Sorta Awesome podcast, where today we dive deep into the lies we often tell ourselves and the truths that set us free. This episode, titled “Smash the Lies, Discover the Awesome!”, is close to my heart because it tackles the inner critic, self-limiting beliefs, relational trauma, and the journey toward reclaiming self-worth. As a licensed marriage and family therapist, I understand how much these internal narratives can hold us back from living fully authentic and joyful lives. Here, we explore not just the struggles but also how to identify, challenge, and ultimately dismantle the false stories we’ve learned to believe.

We discuss personal stories and real-life examples of the lies many of us internalize—whether it’s about being “not good enough” as a parent, not deserving happiness, or feeling like we have to carry the weight of others’ emotions. Alongside co-host Rebecca, we unpack the emotional layers tied to these beliefs and offer compassionate insights into how to nurture self-awareness and healing. My hope is that by sharing these reflections and practical wisdom, listeners will feel empowered to confront their own inner critics and discover their own “awesome” beneath the layers of self-doubt.

Key Takeaways

• Self-limiting beliefs often stem from early life experiences and relational trauma, but they can be challenged and changed.
• Recognizing lies, such as “I am not good enough” or “I am responsible for others’ happiness,” is the first step toward personal freedom.
• Allowing yourself to feel emotions fully—without judgment or comparison—promotes healing and prevents destructive coping mechanisms.
• Self-worth is nurtured by embracing self-compassion and resisting cultural pressures about productivity, appearance, and success.
• Understanding that blessings and good fortune are not finite helps to foster an abundance mindset and reduce jealousy or comparison.
• True healing involves dismantling the internalized messages that keep us stuck and replacing them with affirming truths that support growth.
• Community, conversation, and expert insights are valuable resources in navigating the complex work of reshaping our mental and emotional landscapes.

Notable Quotes

“Parenting is hard in general, whether you have one child or eight children, any number of children that you’re managing during the day that you’re loving on, taking care of, keeping up with. It’s hard.”

“It’s almost like I feel like because I’m not super productive that I’m a bad person. Like it’s a moral thing of good and bad. And I know like, as I’m saying that out loud, it’s like, that’s crazy. Nobody believes that.”

“If you insist on stuffing down any kind of negative emotion for long enough, then eventually some people, not every person will do this, but some people will turn to some kind of outside coping mechanism that ultimately is unhealthy.”

“For any awesome who is out there who is discouraged about what their current size is, and you are wearing jeans that are too tight, go buy yourself a pair of pants that fit. You are going to feel good wearing clothes that don’t make you feel good.”

“Good fortune and blessings are not finite. There’s enough to go around for everyone.”

Topics Covered

• Inner Critic & Self-Limiting Beliefs: Identifying the negative messages we tell ourselves and their impact on self-esteem and behavior.
• Relational Trauma: Exploring how early relationships and childhood experiences shape belief systems and emotional patterns.
• Self-Worth & Compassion: Strategies for cultivating kindness toward ourselves, especially through challenges like body image and parenting.
• Emotional Validation: The importance of allowing ourselves to feel and express difficult emotions without guilt or comparison.
• Scarcity vs. Abundance Mindset: Understanding how false beliefs about limited blessings fuel jealousy and comparison.
• Parental Pressure & Guilt: Challenging the lie that parents must be perfect or solely responsible for their children’s happiness.
• Practical Healing Tools: Therapeutic practices like emotional mindfulness, journaling, and seeking community support to break free from lies.

Full Transcript

Meg Teets: We’re leaving today and entering a world of Mickey Mouse waving, princess meeting and greetings, lightsaber clashing, the Twilight Zone Tower of Terror dropping, Banshee flying, Space Mountain launching, galaxy rewinding, what’s the whole network galaxy rewinding, fireworks igniting, world of other worlds. For whatever you love, infinite worlds await at the most magical place on earth, Walt Disney World Resort.

Meg Teets: This episode is brought to you by Peloton. Break through the busiest time of year with the brand new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus, powered by Peloton IQ. With real-time guidance and endless ways to move, you can personalize your workouts and train with confidence, helping you reach your goals in less time. Let yourself run, lift, sculpt, push and go. Explore the new Peloton Cross Training Tread Plus at onepeloton.com.

Meg Teets: Hey everyone! I’m Meg Teets and this is Sorta Awesome.

Meg Teets: Hello and welcome back Awesomes! You’re listening to the show that’s all about helping you be smart, strong, and social. We’re in your earbuds every single week with all the awesome that you need to know and you can also find us on Instagram at Sorta Awesome Show or over on Facebook in our Sorta Awesome Hangout group. This is episode 114 of the show and we definitely want to give a special shout out and a thank you to our listener supporters. Your $5 a month makes a big difference in keeping this show going and so if Sorta Awesome, if our recommendations, our community, if any of that has added to your life, we would love for you to consider supporting us by going to Sorta Awesome Show dot com slash support. Listeners who support Sorta Awesome have access to our special episodes that are not out there for the public to hear as well as our brand new exclusive Facebook group that we created just for our super awesome supporters. Again, you can find out more about all of that over at Sorta Awesome Show dot com slash support.

Meg Teets: Okay, so yes, here we are. Episode 114 of the show and I’m joined today by my fun and funny friend and co-host Rebecca Hoffer of SimplyRebecca.com. Today we’re going to be talking about something that caught our eye in the Sorta Awesome Hangout group way back at the beginning of this year. One of our awesomes posed a really fantastic question for our community. Her name’s Jessie and she asked, what is a lie you’ve been believing in 2016 and what is the truth that could set you free in 2017? Rebecca, you and I have just been thinking about that so much and we thought it would make for a good discussion between the two of us today. I’m excited to get into it. I think we both have some really good things to share.

Rebecca Hoffer: I think so too and maybe some confessions will come out. I feel like when you’re on the show, Rebecca, I’m always doing some kind of confession. It’s like our specialty and you know what, I have a running list. I have so many confessions yet to share. I have not run out.

Meg Teets: So fun. So yes, we are going to get to all of that discussion about lies that we have believed in the past, the truth that we’ve discovered. We’re even going to hear from an expert on how we can further break free from those lies that might be holding us back in life. So we’re going to get to all of that awesome discussion here in just a little bit. But first, Rebecca, we’re going to start the show the way we always do with our Awesomes of the Week. This is the time in the show when we just share whatever has been bringing us happiness, bringing us joy, anything awesome, books, movies, TV, all of those kinds of things. So Rebecca, I cannot wait to hear what you have for your Awesome of the Week this week.

Rebecca Hoffer: Well, fall is here, Megan, and I know it. There’s so many wonderful things about fall. Pumpkin pie, blizzards from Dairy Queen. Your favorite.

Meg Teets: My favorite.

Rebecca Hoffer: Sweaters and boots and all the things. And it is time to start burning candles again.

Meg Teets: That’s right. I love burning candles in my house. But I actually gave up burning candles for quite a while after I had read articles about the harmful chemicals that are in traditional candles. The paraffin wax and the fragrances that are used, it’s actually releasing some not so good chemicals and toxins into the air. And I decided, okay, I’m going to sacrifice my love for candles and stop burning them, which was so sad.

Rebecca Hoffer: That is a big sacrifice for sure.

Meg Teets: Yes. But I have found a candle that meets all of my crunchy needs and it smells good and I love it. So the company is called Roxanna’s Candles. You can find the candles at roxannascandles.com. They are 100% soy wax, which is better for you than paraffin. There’s no phthalates. There’s no dyes or chemical binders. They use wooden wicks because apparently some of the traditional wicks, actually the wick itself is not so hot for us to be breathing in when that burns. They have tons of good scents. So I have tried and love cinnamon stick and pumpkin pie. Yum. They also have lemon zest, fresh cotton, vanilla bean, Macintosh apple, honeysuckle, jasmine, and so many more. I feel like this candle is not super overpowering. I’m not particularly sensitive to that type of thing. So, you know, if you’re like super sensitive, you know, you have to just try it for yourself. But I don’t feel like it’s like a pow in your face type of scent. I feel like it’s more subtle, which I like. They are a 16 ounce candle, which burns for over 150 hours. It costs $28 with shipping. So it’s a little bit on the pricier side, but compare that to the popular, you know, big traditional candle, and it’s comparable. They do have sales that they do like throughout the year, so you can maybe get it for cheaper. But it’s a family-owned company. Love that.

Rebecca Hoffer: I happen to know the creator. I went to college with her, but that’s not why I love these candles. I just love them. They’re located in Nashville, and they partner with an organization called Rest Stop Ministries, which serves women who were rescued from sex trafficking, which is just amazing.

Meg Teets: That is amazing. Definitely. Yes.

Rebecca Hoffer: So I am loving these candles. Again, they’re called Roxanna’s Candles. You can find them right there on their website, and you can use the link in our show notes.

Meg Teets: Thank you for that. It is definitely candle burning season for sure, and some of the scents that you mentioned sound like so perfect for this time of year. So, and you’re so right. A lot of people do have some major concerns. Some of the ingredients and the burning method of some of the more conventional candles, it could be a little concerning. So I love that you have found, like you said, one that’s a little bit more on the crunchy end of the spectrum. So that’s perfect. I can’t wait to check those out.

Rebecca Hoffer: Okay. Well, my awesome of the week this week is a book, and it is a brand new release. In fact, it just came out on September 19th. It is Ann Bogle’s book, Reading People.

Meg Teets: Yes.

Rebecca Hoffer: Yeah. And the subtitle of her book, Reading People, is How Seeing the World Through the Lens of Personality Changes Everything.

Meg Teets: Oh, Meg. Yes, this book has you written all over it.

Rebecca Hoffer: It really does. And it’s so pretty too. Here, look, I’m showing you the cover. It’s so pretty. I love the way the cover turned out and what Ann does. So Ann is a friend of mine through the blogging realm. And then through podcasting, we’ve been friends for a long time through our shared interests and shared kind of online work. And in fact, many, many, many years ago, I’ll have to do a little internet digging and see if I can find this. But many years ago, when I was still blogging at Sort of Crunchy, when Ann was very first starting her blog, Modern Mrs. Darcy, she did a guest post on Sort of Crunchy for me about an INFP, that is her Myers-Briggs type, going to church and just kind of explaining some of the challenges that INFPs might have with the church setting. And so Ann and I have bonded over personality stuff so much through the years, so many conversations about that. Also, in the Enneagram system, she is a type nine, which is what I am too. So we have lots of conversations about our shared personality traits. So I have been looking forward to this book from Ann for a long time. It’s finally here, it’s in my hands. And I love what she has done with this book, because she gives a very good overview of almost any component of personality thing that you can think of. She of course covers Myers-Briggs very extensively. She talks about the Enneagram system, she touches on StrengthsFinder, she talks about being a highly sensitive person in there, all kinds of stuff that if you have any interest in why people like me, for example, are so fanatical about personality typing, and how understanding yourself and increasing your self-awareness through understanding yourself through one of these personality systems can make a radical difference in the way you experience life and the way you experience people around you. If you’ve ever wondered about that, or just kind of wanted to have somebody explain like, okay, I totally get Myers-Briggs, but I do not get how the Enneagram works, or, you know, on any of these systems, then this is a great book. And also, one thing I love about Ann too, is she’s very honest and open. She tells stories on herself and stories of friends and family that kind of illustrate how our personality comes into play in various situations. And so it’s just, it’s a fantastic book. It really, truly, in a lot of ways, I’m her ideal reader on this, because I just love this stuff so much.

Meg Teets: Well, I was sitting here thinking, so like, what kind of book is this? The thing that came to mind for me, I have not read it, but just from hearing your description of it, is it sounds like for personality junkies like you, it’s like a dessert book. It’s like, it’s like, you’re just there, eating it up, just like cake on your birthday.

Rebecca Hoffer: Absolutely, yes, absolutely. If you already are into personality stuff, I think you will be like me as you’re reading it and just be nodding along as you go through each chapter. If you are a person though, who kind of always feels left out of conversations about personality stuff, whether they’re happening in your real life community or online, and you’re just like, Oh, I don’t know, I don’t get it. I don’t understand why people even talk about this stuff. Reading People would be a good book for you too, because she really shows through real life application, why people get so into these systems and how it can make a difference in your life. And one more thing I had to mention about it, a theme that she really draws out through the book is something that I feel so passionately about when it comes to personality stuff, is that we don’t discover our types in these different systems so that we can, you know, like live with excuses for like, oh, well, I’m an ENFP. So there’s no way I would ever do that. Or, you know, we don’t use it as a way to shut things out of our lives, or as excuses for why we do things or don’t do things. It’s really about understanding yourself so that you can more fully engage with your community, with the world around you, with your job, family life, all of those things. So she just does a really good job with the whole thing. And it’s my Awesome of the Week.

Meg Teets: Well, and that is a pretty big endorsement coming from you, Megan. As always, if you would like to share whatever has been awesome in your life, again, we are always talking about books, podcasts, music, candles, clothes, beauty products, all of the awesome in our life. If you’d like to share what yours is, we do this every single Friday. Over in the Sorta Awesome Hangout on Facebook, you can search for that group, join the group, and we would love to hear what your Awesome of the Week is over there.

Meg Teets: Hey, Awesomes. One of my very favorite things about the fall is getting back into the kitchen to fix up some of my family’s favorite comfort foods. But with our busy schedule, honestly, sometimes that just feels like a daydream. In fact, some weeks I can barely make it to the grocery store. And that’s why I’m loving the meal kit delivery from Sun Basket. With Sun Basket, I can have dinner ready for my family in less than 30 minutes. Meals that my kids