Here’s Why Your Love of Netflix Could Be More Than a Habit
A familiar show can be more than background noise or a guilty pleasure. This essay considers how movies and television can offer stories, models, emotional expression, calming, and containment, while inviting you to notice when your viewing is supportive and when it may be getting in the way of your life.
Gathering at the Digital Campfire
If I were to ask you to list your hobbies, would watching Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu be among them?
Is there a show or movie you watch over and over before bed to help calm you down and comfort you in the evenings?
Do you have an ever-growing list of “your shows and movies”? A series that you’re completely hooked into?
Do you tend to get lost in an episode or cinema experience and then feel a bit of loss when the credits roll and you transition back to real life?
If so, that’s perfectly okay! Far from any of this being a so-called “bad thing,” I want to share my perspective as a psychotherapist with you about why your deep love of certain shows and movies can actually be a perfectly legitimate tool for personal growth plus share some inquiries and resources with you that will help make your next round of movie or TV watching a little more therapeutic (yes, really!).
Since time immemorial we humans have had a need to learn how the world works, what our place in it is, and how to navigate all the stuff of life.
As psychotherapist Clarissa Pinkola Estes, PhD talks about across her breadth of work, much of this life instruction was imparted through oral storytelling, local wisdom sharing, and swapped tales passed down through the generations. Today in our modern world, the act of gathering around a campfire to learn about life from an elder seems to have all but disappeared and, instead, I would argue, most of us now gather around a proverbial digital campfire consciously or unconsciously to seek out the same thing.
Yep, that’s right: the glow of our computer screens, tablets, and big screen TV’s comprise today’s modern digital campfire and the stories and plot lines throughout much of what we watch have become a kind of life instruction and inspiration instead.
So is this really such a bad thing? Not necessarily.
While I think there are legitimate and pressing concerns about the type and amount of media that we collectively consume (and allow our children to consume), I don’t believe in pathologizing watching movies and TV shows as “all bad” because I truly believe that there’s a way in which this can actually be a very useful tool for our own personal growth thanks to the modeling and instructing, accessing and processing, and calming and containment movies and TV can provide for us.
The essay uses digital campfire as a metaphor for contemporary storytelling: gathering around screens to receive narratives, examples, cautions, and inspiration about how life works.
In plain terms: The stories you return to may be doing some of the same work that shared stories have always done: helping you imagine choices, relationships, and possibilities.
In a very legitimate way, movies and TV shows can help meet that basic need we all have to understand how this whole human life thing works. Shows and movies can model for us how to be in relationship, how to chase our dreams, what other lives and options for us might be possible, and passively and actively teach us about so many other elements of life.
For example, a young woman once shared with me that while she was growing up (largely emotionally neglected by her parents in childhood), it was thanks to watching Full House that she learned what might be possible between parents and kids, that warmth and concern and curiosity could exist, and that children could be deeply loved by the adults in their lives. To this day, Full House serves as an inspiration for her in parenting her own children and in parenting the “little girl inside of her.”
And on the other side of the spectrum, the message that movies and TV shows may offer up can also be as much a warning and cautionary tale as much as an inspirational tale.
For example, in the early 19th century this type of teaching could be found in the Grimm Brothers’ old tales (pre-editing) which were tremendously dark and cautionary tales for children and their parents. A modern day equivalent that might fall neatly into that cautionary category could be Breaking Bad (whose arguable cautions for us all include paying teachers more and pursuing less high risk forms of entrepreneurship if we want to take financial care of our families).
I honestly believe that movies and TV (not to mention books and podcasts and songs and theatre) are our modern day storytellers and that when we login into Netflix (or Amazon Prime or Hulu, etc.), there’s a way in which we still unconsciously gather around our proverbial digital campfires to receive instructions and inspiration on the perennial stuff of life.
What Stories Let Us Feel
Another way that movies and TV shows can be therapeutic and help us in our own personal growth is that they help us access different parts of ourselves, allowing us to feel into those aspects, and safely give voice to and process those pieces of us that potentially don’t get to be expressed in our day-to-day lives.
For example, who among us hasn’t left the cinema after watching some superhero or science fiction movie feeling on top of the world and like we could take on anything? That movie likely touched us in some way, connected us to our own archetypal internal hero and made us feel stronger and more empowered in our own lives if even for a short while.
Truly, connecting with different aspects of our psyche and giving them voice on screen can be subtly but powerfully therapeutic.
An archetype is a recurring symbolic pattern or character role that can help people recognize and engage an aspect of their inner experience. The essay describes the internal hero as one such pattern.
In plain terms: Sometimes a character’s courage, anger, or determination gives a safe shape to a part of you that needs recognition but has not had room in daily life.
I recall how a women once shared with me that when she was going through a particularly painful and disempowering time in her life, watching and rewatching Kill Bill Volume 1 & Volume 2 helped her unconsciously process the pain and anger she held in a completely safe way while she watched The Bride seek revenge. The Bride embodied the part of her that was rageful and vindictive and empowered in a way she herself would never act out in her real life. Watching the movies didn’t solve the painful circumstances in this woman’s life, but they did give her some small sense of camaraderie and peace when she connected to that empowered archetype deep inside of herself.
Much like how we can experience some sense of relief and clarity when someone else does a piece of work in a therapy group, I think that when we watch movies and TV shows, we consciously and unconsciously allow the characters to act out and process what we might need in our own lives in a way that’s safe, contained, and risk-free.
Comfort, Containment, and Conscious Viewing
One thing I hear from people , often couched in a way that makes it delivered like a guilty confession , is that they have a certain TV series or movie that they turn on at night to help them wind down and fall asleep. While some might argue that screen time before bed is a bad thing, I actually think it can be quite clever to use TV shows or movies to self-soothe as part of your bedtime hygiene routine.
Movies and TV shows that we’re deeply familiar with have the power to calm and contain us, particularly if they provide the essence of the very thing we’re most longing for in our own lives at the moment.
For instance, when our waking lives perhaps feel challenging or out of control, perhaps tuning into Downton Abbey might help us feel held and contained (literally by watching a show taking place within the walls of a house within a tight-knit family and their staff) or maybe re-watching an old series that deals with less rough stuff where the endings are predictive and always neatly tied up in bows , like I Love Lucy or Friends , soothes some part of you that needs happy endings and predictability, the very things you might be missing in your own life.
Whatever the movie or TV series is for you, if it calms and contains you and gives you some peace and a sense of the very thing you’re currently missing in your life right now, I think it’s could be a good and therapeutic idea to keep watching it.
Now, of course, most of us probably default to watching Netflix/Amazon Prime/Hulu for entertainment purposes , which is great! , but if you’re curious and interested in using movies and TV more consciously as a tool for personal growth, I’ve drafted some inquiries for you below to deepen your self-awareness and to help make your next round of movie/TV watching more consciously therapeutic:
What, historically, has been your relationship to TV and movie consumption? What role has this media played in your own life? Would you say your relationship to watching TV and movies feels largely positive or are there ways in which it doesn’t feel good?
Growing up, did any shows have particular meaning and lessons for you? Are there shows that, when you watch them even today, you feel a sense of “coming home”?
What qualities/characteristics/circumstances are you currently longing for in your own life right now? Peace? Romance? Community? Connection? Inspiration to be powerful? A boost of entrepreneurial can-do?
Reviewing the list of those things you’re craving or longing for, what, off the top of your head, are some ideas of TV shows or movies that might be able to provide the essence of what you’re longing for? (hint: for more inspiration on generating this list, please check out the list of resources below to help you brainstorm!)
What characters from TV and movies stand out to you as inspirational in your own life? Have their been characters who have deeply spoken to you before that you perhaps need to channel in your life more now?
What would it be like if you asked yourself “What Would [insert character here] Do?” as a self-coaching inquiry the next time you’re faced with a challenge?
Are there any characters out there who could safely give voice to parts of yourself that you’re longing to express but can’t or won’t in your waking life? Would watching something with them feel good to you right now?
When you consciously select or watch certain shows as a way of calming, soothing, inspiring or encouraging yourself, I think this can be a perfectly legitimate personal growth tool and it can even be deeply therapeutic.
Of course, with all things in life, context is everything. If you find your time with movies and shows is getting in the way of your life and feeling unhealthy , interfering with your relationships and responsibilities , I encourage you to be curious about this and examine whether or not you need to scale back. And, of course, therapeutic use of TV shows and movies are no substitute for actually therapy. Movies and TV can be a good complement to professional therapeutic support, but in no way are they a substitute for care from a licensed mental health professional.
But if you, like so many of us, watch Netflix, Amazon Prime, Hulu, etc, in a way that feels healthy and enjoyable but have felt maybe just a twinge of guilt about it, consider this blog post a big ol’ digital permission slip to stack up your queue , maybe with movies or shows that might weave in some of the above inquiries , and consciously enjoy the next time you partake in some therapeutic TV and movie watching.
Resources for Further Exploration
TheCinematherapy.com Film Index
AGoodMovieToWatch.com’s Mood Index
Cinematherapy: The Girl’s Guide to Movies for Every Mood*
Cinematherapy for the Soul: The Girl’s Guide to Finding Inspiration One Movie at a Time*
The Motion Picture Prescription: Watch This Movie and Call Me in the Morning*
Q: Can watching television ever be therapeutic?
A: It can be a supportive personal-growth tool when it helps you access, reflect on, or soothe parts of your experience. The essay is clear that this does not replace care from a licensed mental health professional.
Q: Why do I rewatch the same show when I am stressed?
A: Familiar stories can offer predictability, comfort, and a contained emotional experience. A show with known outcomes may provide a sense of calm when your waking life feels uncertain or out of control.
Q: How can a character help me understand myself?
A: A character may give voice to a quality or feeling you long to express, such as courage, anger, connection, or possibility. You can notice what moves you and ask what that response might be telling you.
Q: When does TV watching become unhealthy?
A: Context matters. The essay suggests getting curious if viewing is interfering with your relationships, responsibilities, or sense of well-being, and considering whether you need to scale back.
Q: How can I watch more consciously?
A: Before choosing something to watch, identify what you are longing for right now, such as peace, romance, community, inspiration, predictability, or a sense of power. Then notice whether a story offers the essence of that need.
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Annie Wright, LMFT
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist · Relational Trauma Specialist · W.W. Norton Author
“Helping driven women finally feel as good as their résumé looks.”
Annie Wright is a licensed psychotherapist with 15,000+ clinical hours since 2013 and an EMDRIA Certified Therapist. She’s the founder and former CEO of Evergreen Counseling, a multimillion-dollar trauma-informed therapy center she successfully exited. She’s currently writing her first book, The Everything Years: Navigating the Pressure and Promise of Your Thirties, with W.W. Norton (2027). Her expert commentary has appeared in Psychology Today, Forbes, Business Insider, NBC News, and The Information.
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Annie Wright, LMFT
LMFT · Relational Trauma Specialist · W.W. Norton Author
Helping driven women finally feel as good as their résumé looks.
Annie Wright is an EMDR-certified licensed psychotherapist and relational trauma specialist with over 15,000 clinical hours, and she's been in practice since 2013. Trained in EMDR, psychodynamic, and somatic modalities, she is licensed in 14 U.S. jurisdictions and registered to provide telehealth in Florida (California, Colorado (telehealth only), Connecticut, the District of Columbia, Florida, Illinois, Maine, Maryland, New Hampshire, New Jersey, New York, Texas, Utah, Virginia, and Washington). Annie works with driven and ambitious women from relational trauma backgrounds, and everything she writes about is field-tested across thousands of clinical sessions. She is the founder and former CEO of Evergreen Counseling, a multimillion-dollar trauma-informed therapy center she built, scaled, and successfully exited, and is currently writing her first book, The Everything Years: Navigating the Pressure and Promise of Your Thirties, with W.W. Norton (2027). A regular contributor to Psychology Today, her expert commentary has appeared in USA Today, Forbes, Business Insider, Inc., NBC, and The Information.
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