Because, for some, confessing to loving TV still carries some stigma and shame, I wanted to use this essay today to not only normalize this enjoyment but also to suggest that TV, when used intentionally, can be a great adjunctive healing tool in your relational trauma recovery work. 

To learn more and to hear how I suggest my clients use this as an intentional tool, please keep reading.

TV: Our modern-day digital campfire.

Since time immemorial, we humans have learned and grown through stories.

Through the passing down from one person to another, from one generation to another, we’ve received instructions about how to be a human in this world through oral and later written stories, rich with literal and symbolic instruction.

We’ve been entertained, challenged, inspired, and supported by the tales passed down across time. 

And while our ancestors would have sat around a literal fire, listening to a bard, shaman, or wise elder impart this wisdom and entertainment, today, arguably, few of us huddle around literal fires. 

Instead, we gather around the glow of our screens and tablets – our digital campfires. 

The form has changed, but the need has not.

We all still hunger for stories, for instruction, for entertainment, support, guidance, and connection. 

But these days, in times when we live far from the places we were raised and are more isolated than in community, TV (and movies) can help meet that ancient storytelling need in the absence of a wise elder holding court.

And thank goodness for that! 

Now, certainly, there are a lot of problematic ways to watch TV and movies. Mindlessly, compulsively, for hours on end to the point of detriment (to your health, relationships, job, and finances). And, yes, there’s certainly a lot of toxic, problematic, and truly inane material out there in the world. 

I still argue that certain TV and movies can go beyond being used solely for entertainment and storytelling. And instead even be used as an intentional healing tool, particularly on our relational trauma recovery journeys.

So how can we use TV and movies intentionally as a healing tool? Through these four ways:

• Using it to internalize models of reparative relationships.

• Using it to externalize and metabolize our psychological processes.

• Using it to provide us with an “emotional vitamin” when in need.

• Using it as a less harmful emotional regulation and selective dissociation tool.

Read on to learn more about each of these four ways to intentionally use TV (and movies).

TV can help us internalize models of reparative relationships.

Nearly always, my clients who come from relational trauma backgrounds who were raised by mood- or personality-disordered parents face two big tasks in their healing work:

1. Becoming their own good-enough inner mothers and fathers; and…
2. Developing kinder, more supportive self-talk.