HPD in the Workplace: When Your Colleague’s Need for Attention Becomes Your Problem

HISTRIONIC PERSONALITY DISORDER • April 09, 2026

Clinically reviewed by Annie Wright, LMFT

The Unseen Performance in the Conference Room

The fluorescent lights hummed, casting a sterile glow over the polished conference table. Agatha, a 36-year-old attorney, felt a familiar tension knot in her stomach. Her senior partner, a woman known for her dramatic flair and unpredictable moods, was late again. When she finally swept in, 15 minutes past the start time, she didn’t apologize. Instead, she launched into a captivating, albeit irrelevant, anecdote about a weekend crisis, commanding the room’s full attention. Agatha sighed internally. This wasn’t just a meeting; it was a performance, and everyone else was an unwitting audience.

In my work with driven, ambitious women, I consistently hear variations of this scene. The workplace, an arena meant for collaboration and achievement, can become a complex stage when a colleague or superior exhibits traits consistent with Histrionic Personality Disorder (HPD). It’s not just about a need for attention; it’s a pervasive pattern that can derail projects, fracture teams, and leave competent professionals feeling utterly depleted.

What Is Histrionic Personality Disorder in the Workplace?

Histrionic Personality Disorder, often characterized by a pervasive pattern of excessive emotionality and attention-seeking behavior, doesn’t disappear when someone clocks into work. While the overt expressions might differ from personal relationships, the core mechanism remains: an insatiable need to be the center of attention. In a professional context, this can manifest as manufactured drama, exaggerated emotional displays, and a tendency to create crises that demand immediate focus.

It’s crucial to understand that this isn’t a conscious manipulation in the way a sociopath might operate. For individuals with HPD, these behaviors are often deeply ingrained patterns, a desperate attempt to feel seen and valued. However, the impact on colleagues and the organizational environment can be profoundly disruptive, turning routine tasks into high-stakes emotional negotiations.

The Dynamics of HPD in Professional Settings

The workplace dynamics created by an individual with HPD can be incredibly complex and draining. These individuals often possess a superficial charm that initially draws people in, making them seem charismatic and engaging. However, beneath this veneer lies a pattern of behavior designed to ensure they are always the focal point, regardless of the professional cost.

Consider the colleague with HPD. They might be the one who monopolizes meetings with irrelevant personal stories, creates last-minute
crises that demand immediate attention, or triangulates team members against each other to maintain control and drama. Their work output might be inconsistent, often brilliant when it garners praise, but neglected when it doesn’t. This creates an environment of constant reactivity, where colleagues are perpetually putting out fires or managing emotional fallout rather than focusing on their core responsibilities.

When the individual with HPD is a boss, the impact can be even more profound. The HPD boss might exhibit an unpredictable performance of warmth and punishment, showering praise one moment and delivering harsh criticism the next, all based on how much attention they are receiving. They need to be seen as the most important person in the room, and any perceived threat to this status can result in a punitive response. This can lead to a highly anxious and demoralized team, where innovation is stifled, and psychological safety is non-existent. As Paul Babiak, PhD, an industrial and organizational psychologist who researches personality disorders in corporate settings, highlights in his work, individuals with certain personality traits can create significant dysfunction in organizational structures [1].

How HPD Shows Up in Driven Women at Work

Driven, ambitious women are often uniquely susceptible to the dynamics created by colleagues or superiors with HPD. Their innate empathy, desire for harmony, and professional commitment can lead them to inadvertently enable or absorb the emotional labor generated by HPD behaviors. They might find themselves constantly managing the fallout from a colleague’s dramatic outbursts, covering for missed deadlines, or mediating conflicts that were intentionally stirred up.

Agatha, the 36-year-old attorney, found herself in this exact position. Her senior partner, a woman with a flair for the dramatic, created a political crisis approximately every six weeks. These weren’t genuine professional challenges but manufactured storms designed to draw attention and consolidate power. Agatha, being highly competent and responsible, would invariably step in to manage the fallout, smooth over client relationships, and ensure projects stayed on track. For three years, she had been managing these crises, believing it was part of her professional duty. The exhaustion was profound, a deep weariness that seeped into her personal life, leaving her with little energy for anything else. She was, in essence, covering for a colleague’s performance, mistaking it for genuine leadership.

This dynamic is particularly insidious because driven women are often conditioned to be problem-solvers and caretakers. They see a crisis and instinctively move to resolve it, not realizing they are feeding a pattern that will only perpetuate itself. The constant need to manage another person’s emotional landscape at work diverts their energy and focus from their own professional growth and well-being.

Practical Strategies for Navigating HPD Colleagues

Navigating a professional relationship with someone exhibiting HPD traits requires a strategic and emotionally intelligent approach. The goal is not to diagnose or fix the colleague, but to protect your own energy and professional standing.

First, **documentation is your strongest defense**. In a professional environment where narratives can be easily manipulated, maintaining a clear, objective record of interactions and agreements is paramount. This isn’t about building a case against a colleague, but rather about safeguarding your own professional integrity and providing factual context if issues escalate. For instance, after a verbal discussion, send a brief follow-up email summarizing key decisions or action items. If a colleague with HPD makes a commitment, confirm it in writing. This practice creates an undeniable paper trail that can counteract attempts to distort reality or shift blame.

Second, practice **minimal emotional engagement**. Individuals with HPD often operate from a place of deep emotional need, and any emotional response—positive or negative—can serve as validation, fueling their attention-seeking behaviors. When confronted with dramatic outbursts, exaggerated claims, or attempts to draw you into their emotional vortex, respond with a calm, neutral, and professional demeanor. Stick strictly to the facts of the situation, avoiding personal opinions or emotional reactions. This detachment can be challenging, especially when you feel personally attacked or frustrated, but it is a powerful tool for disengaging from the HPD dynamic. Remember, you are not responsible for managing their emotions, only for managing your own professional conduct.

Third, maintain **strategic visibility**. In environments where an HPD colleague might attempt to take credit for your work or undermine your contributions, it’s vital to ensure your achievements are recognized by key stakeholders. This means proactively communicating your progress and successes to your direct manager, team leads, and other relevant parties. Don’t assume your work will speak for itself, especially when someone else is actively trying to control the narrative. Building strong, independent professional relationships outside the immediate HPD dynamic can also provide a buffer and ensure your reputation is based on your actual performance, not on someone else’s portrayal.

Finally, know **when to involve HR**. While the goal is often to manage these situations independently, there are times when the behavior crosses a line, impacting your well-being, the team’s productivity, or violating company policy. When escalating to HR, it’s crucial to frame your concerns in terms of observable behaviors and their impact on the business, rather than attempting to diagnose a personality disorder. For example, instead of saying, “My colleague has HPD and is constantly seeking attention,” you might say, “My colleague’s frequent dramatic outbursts and creation of unnecessary urgency are consistently disrupting team meetings and delaying project timelines.” Provide specific dates, times, and impacts. This objective, fact-based approach is more likely to be taken seriously and lead to constructive intervention.

Both/And: Setting Boundaries While Maintaining Professionalism

The Both/And framework is a cornerstone of relational trauma recovery, and it applies just as powerfully in the workplace. It allows us to hold two seemingly contradictory truths simultaneously, freeing us from the trap of black-and-white thinking.

In the context of an HPD colleague, the Both/And looks like this: You can recognize that their behavior stems from a deep, unhealed wound AND you can absolutely refuse to let that wound dictate your workday. You can have compassion for the fact that they are desperately seeking validation AND you can set rigid boundaries around your time and energy. You do not have to villainize them to justify protecting yourself.

Claire, a 38-year-old urban planner, struggled with this balance. Her department director turned every team meeting into a performance, often at the expense of actual planning work. Claire, who valued efficiency and deep work, started dreading these meetings. She felt guilty for her growing resentment, knowing her director had faced significant personal challenges. In therapy, Claire learned to apply the Both/And lens. She realized she could hold empathy for her director’s underlying pain while simultaneously recognizing that the resulting behavior was toxic to the team’s functioning. This shift allowed Claire to stop trying to “fix” the meetings and instead focus on managing her own responses and protecting her team’s core objectives.

The Systemic Lens: Why Workplace HPD Often Goes Unchecked

To fully understand the impact of HPD in the workplace, we must look beyond the individual and examine the systems that allow these behaviors to thrive. Narcissistic and histrionic behaviors don’t exist in a vacuum; they are often enabled, and sometimes even rewarded, by corporate cultures.

Many organizations prioritize charisma, visibility, and the appearance of action over quiet competence and steady results. An individual with HPD, who is highly skilled at drawing attention and creating a sense of urgency, can often be mistaken for a “go-getter” or a passionate leader. The chaos they create is sometimes misinterpreted as high-energy productivity. Furthermore, systems that lack clear accountability metrics or that discourage open communication about interpersonal challenges provide fertile ground for manipulation and triangulation.

For driven women, this systemic failure is particularly damaging. They are often the ones quietly holding the structure together while the HPD colleague commands the spotlight. When they attempt to raise concerns, they may be labeled as “not team players” or told they need to be more “flexible.” Recognizing this systemic dynamic is crucial. It validates that the exhaustion you feel isn’t a personal failing; it’s the natural result of functioning in a system that rewards performance over substance.

Protecting Your Professional Well-being

Recovering from the impact of an HPD colleague or boss isn’t just about surviving the workday; it’s about reclaiming your professional identity and energy. The constant hypervigilance required to navigate a dramatic work environment takes a profound toll on your nervous system. It’s essential to actively prioritize your well-being.

This begins with radical acceptance: you cannot change their personality structure. Your power lies entirely in your response. Focus on cultivating a strong sense of self-worth that is independent of the workplace drama. Engage in practices that regulate your nervous system outside of work—whether that’s somatic therapy, rigorous exercise, or simply spending time in environments where you don’t have to perform or manage someone else’s emotions.

If the situation remains untenable despite your best efforts at boundary-setting, it may be necessary to consider a transition. Leaving a toxic work environment is not a failure; it is a profound act of self-advocacy. Your career should be a source of growth and fulfillment, not a daily battle for emotional survival.

Remember, your professional value is not defined by your ability to endure dysfunction. By naming the pattern, setting firm boundaries, and prioritizing your own psychological safety, you can begin to untangle yourself from the drama and step back into your own power. You deserve a workplace where your competence speaks louder than someone else’s performance.

Related Reading

• What Is Histrionic Personality Disorder? A Therapist’s Complete Guide
• Signs You Have a Narcissistic Boss (And How to Survive)
• The Sociopath in the C-Suite: When Pathology is Rewarded
• Executive Coaching for Driven Women