This post is for you if you’re interested in being in a fulfilling romantic relationship but aren’t in one yet.

Or maybe you’re feeling frustrated that you don’t even know what you’re looking for in a partner anymore (or even if someone like that person exists!).

Or perhaps you don’t even know *how* to begin attracting healthier, more functional romantic relationships into your life.

If this is the case for you, I want you to know that I get it. This is such a frustrating place to be in!

It can often feel like a catch-22 when you’re longing for a wonderful relationship and yet you think you have to have already *been* in one to attract the next one.

But I don’t think this is true at all.

Just because you’re not in the love relationship you want yet doesn’t mean you can’t get there.

And so in this post, I want to share with you a tool I use in my therapy practice. It can help you lay the groundwork for a healthy romantic partnership. Even if you believe you’ve never been in one before. Or if you don’t have a clue as to how to get started. 

So keep reading to learn more about this tool and how it can help you create the healthy relationship you’re longing for.

The Tool: Cultivating Your Relational Palate.

Let me ask you something: do you think that if you ate every meal each day at McDonald’s you’d be able to deeply enjoy and intimately recognize the incredible quality of local, farm-to-table food of the famed Berkeley restaurant, Chez Panisse?

Probably not.

Your tastebuds would be conditioned to expect certain qualities like hydrogenated oils, an excess of sodium, simple sugars, etc..

You likely wouldn’t have the developed taste bud palate to discern and pick up on subtleties of flavors like they serve at Chez Panisse (and holy moly, is it amazing there!).

Look, I’m not trying to knock McDonald’s – if that’s your thing, go for it! – but you can’t argue with me that there’s not a significant jump in quality from there to fine dining.

In a way, our experience in a relationship can often be the same.

If we’re used to lower quality, it can often be harder to recognize higher quality when it comes along.

So what does this have to do with love and relationships?

Frustratingly, many of us may find ourselves longing to be in a healthy, functional relationship with the romantic partner of our dreams, but believe that we wouldn’t know what this is because of our prior (or altogether lack of!) dating history.

We maybe believe we just don’t know how to attract healthier relationships, or even what a healthier relationship looks like so we’re stuck with McDonald’s quality when we’re longing for a Chez Panisse of a love.