“To heal trauma, we need to develop tools that help us reconnect with our bodies, regulate our emotions, and feel safe in the world. These skills empower us to take an active role in our own recovery.”
– Peter Levine, Ph.D.
In this fourth piece of a five part series (Part 1 and Part 2 and Part 3 here) on the fundamental tools that should be in our self-care tool chests when we come from relational trauma backgrounds, we explore yet another proverbial drawer: emotional regulation tools.
What do emotional regulation tools even mean?
I gave a high level overview of this in my first piece in this series, but, to reiterate again, emotional regulation refers to the ability to manage and respond to an emotional experience in a healthy and adaptive way.
It involves recognizing and naming, understanding the signal value of, and managing one’s emotions in an adaptive way (aka: functional and healthy way) to navigate life’s ups and downs effectively.
This skill is crucial for maintaining mental and emotional well-being, allowing us all to handle stress, maintain relationships (versus destroying them), and achieve personal goals (not to mention have some sense of equanimity as we move through our days).
So emotional regulation tools are the practices, interventions, and skills that help us achieve this.
Now, let’s add some more tools to your proverbial toolbox right now by exploring some concrete tools for each of those primary tasks I listed – recognizing and naming, understanding the signal value of, and managing your emotions in an adaptive way.
Tools for emotional regulation.
1. Naming emotions.
One of the first steps in emotional regulation is to accurately identify and name your emotions. This process, often referred to as “emotion labeling,” can help bring clarity and understanding to how you are feeling.
- Why this matters: By naming your emotions, you can better understand what you are experiencing and why. This self-awareness is the foundation for managing your emotional responses effectively.
- A tool to enhance naming emotions: Use one of my favorite tools – The Filing Cabinet of Feelings. I’m not talking about an actual filing cabinet, but rather an imagined one. Specifically, a filing cabinet containing four major drawers: Sad, Mad, Glad, and Scared. These are the four meta categories of emotions that then contain hundreds more specific emotions.
