So today I want to share 15 hard adulting truths that I think most of us wrestle with based on my experience as a therapist (and as a fellow human).
My hope in sharing these is that you might feel less alone in your particular struggles and maybe just a bit more self-compassionate, knowing what you’re dealing with is normal and natural for most of us.
You’re Not Alone In This: 15 Hard Adulting Truths.
1. Adulting is hard for most of us sometimes (or a lot of the time).
Between commutes, work demands, student loan debt and daycare expenses, the pressures of dating or marriage or children, let alone remembering to keep toilet paper and olive oil stocked in your house (thank goodness for you, Amazon Prime!), the responsibilities of an adult life can often feel overwhelming, stressful, and chaotic – making you feel like you’re just barely cobbling it together as you go along.
When you add onto this any anxiety, depression, unresolved childhood trauma, or health challenges that you may be dealing with, adulting can feel especially hard. If you’re feeling like the only one having a hard time with being an adult and making it in the world, you’re not. It’s hard for most of us sometimes (or a lot of the time).
2. There comes a point where you have to grieve the paths you didn’t take.
There may be a day (or days) when you wake up and look around at your life and wonder how you got here, wonder what happened to those dreams you had back in your post-college 20’s, wonder how you ended up single or partnered to the partner you have.
As we age and make choices, doors close to us that had previously been open. There may come a time when you see the doors that are no longer available to you and become sad and frustrated about the paths you didn’t take. It’s perfectly normal and natural to feel this way!
Your life is a sum of your choices up to this point and while it doesn’t mean you can’t make different choices moving forward, there may some paths that aren’t choices anymore and you have every right to grieve those.
3. None of us are experts in romantic relationship; we’re all novices.
Even if you had the most wonderful, healthy, functional relationship models in your parents, it can still feel like a struggle to figure out how to be in a long-term romantic relationship. And if you lacked healthy relationship models, it can often feel harder.
Most of us know how to fall in love, how to be infatuated, how to daydream over new love, but when the fires of passion die down, most of us struggle with what comes next: how to cohabitate with another human being day after day, year after year, trying to love them, trying to resolve differences while putting up with all their quirks, preferences, triggers, temperament difference, weird noises, etc.
