“Trauma is any experience that leaves a person feeling hopeless, helpless, or profoundly unsafe.”

– Janina Fisher, PhD

In the course of my thirteen years as a therapist, I’ve heard some iteration of these two questions hundreds of times:

“What even *is* trauma?” and “How do I know if mine “counts”?”

I’ll never get tired of answering these questions – whether it’s for my individual therapy clients or here on the internet with you.

I’ll never get tired of answering these questions because they were two of the dominant questions I wondered about for years, too.

So I answer my clients and I share this information widely online because they’re the answers I would have so desperately wanted to know when I was 15 or 20 years old.

So, with the hopes that this will feel helpful to you, let me share some psychoeducation with you.

What is trauma?

“Traumatic events overwhelm the ordinary systems of care that give people a sense of control, connection, and meaning.” 

– Judith Herman, MD

Let’s begin with a broad, high-level overview of what trauma is and isn’t. 

This may feel redundant and obvious to you but I still want to ground us into this 30,000 foot view and reiterate what you may already know so that this information and everything else I share in this essay is firmly cemented. 

I believe psychoeducation for those of us who come from relational trauma histories is critical.

The more you really understand the basics of it – not to mention the more you know about it specifically – the more easily you can see yourself and your life story more clearly and be equipped to seek out the right kind of support.

So, again, we ask the question: what defines trauma?

Trauma is subjective.

I want to share a quote with you from one of my favorite trauma clinicians – Karen Saakvitne, Ph.D.

“Trauma is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring conditions in which the individual’s ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed and the individual experiences (either objectively or subjectively) a threat to his/her life, bodily integrity, or that of a caregiver or family.”

It guides my work with anyone who has experienced it. Especially those who have experienced relational trauma and I hope it feels helpful for you to hear.