The Three Stages of Romantic Love

First, let me begin by saying that I wish I could properly credit who first came up with this frame for organizing the lifecycle of relationships. I’ve heard it referenced and referred to in different terms by a wide variety of therapists. Even couples counselors and thoughts leaders. But, again, I am not sure who originated it.

Perhaps, like so many psychological concepts, its become an amalgam of insights and contributions. And in today’s post, as I describe what the three stages and attendant hallmark factors are, I’ll contribute my own thoughts and opinions to this cumulative concept about the lifecycle of a couple’s relationship.

The First Stage: The Honeymoon Period.

So, again, the concept of the three stages of romantic relationship refer to distinct phases of a relationship a couple may journey through over the lifecycle of relationship.

And first and foremost among these stages is the Honeymoon Period.

Ah, the honeymoon period… It’s the stage of relationship when we’re falling in love with the other person, and a powerful cocktail of hormones (dopamine, norepinephrine, and serotonin) floods our bodies and brains… It’s where we’re likely having sex effortlessly and easily, and we’re prone to projecting only the best, most positive attributes onto our new partners. It’s the stage of love most commonly memorialized in pop songs, Rom-Coms, books and poetry across the ages. It’s heady, it’s intoxicating, it’s infatuating.

Bottom line: the honeymoon period feels great!

But it’s a not a sustainable feeling state or relationship stage. The majority of couples can experience a honeymoon period anywhere from a few months to a few years in length. (I’ll anecdotally say that a multi-year honeymoon period is an uncommon outlier, it seems.) Inevitably, though, the honeymoon period for a couple will end and the next stage of romantic relationship will begin.