And I’d say something like, “Well, no, not exactly. I’ve worked with active-duty military members before, but mostly I work with professionals in the Bay Area. Lawyers, doctors, tech folks, start-up founders, UC Berkeley students.”
“But didn’t you say you were a trauma therapist?”
“Yes, I am.”
And more than a few times I’d see brows wrinkle and sense that the niche I have as a clinician and the population I work with didn’t seem to reconcile for these folks.
And I get it.
Most of us have a preconceived notion of what trauma is, and also a preconceived notion of who someone with a trauma history might look like.
But because those preconceived notions tend to be limiting and somewhat unhelpful if you fall outside the scope of the notion, I wanted to write today’s post to dispel the “myth” of not only what trauma is, but also what someone with a trauma history can look like.
My hope is that, if you see yourself in either description, that you can feel validated, more curious about your experience, and perhaps more inspired to seek out help if you need or want it.
What is trauma?
The best definition I’ve found is this:
Trauma is the unique individual experience of an event or enduring conditions in which the individual’s ability to integrate his/her emotional experience is overwhelmed and the individual experiences (either objectively or subjectively) a threat to his/her life, bodily integrity, or that of a caregiver or family. (Saakvitne, K. et al, 2000).
There are two parts of this definition that I want to highlight.
First, “trauma is the unique individual experience.”
By this definition we see that psychological trauma is subjective and relative. Meaning what makes something traumatic for one person may not be traumatic for another. Depending on what our ability to deal with it is.
The key, though, across subjective experiences, is that it overwhelms the individual’s ability to cope with it.
That’s what makes something unbearable for someone with a trauma history.
And there’s another part of this definition that I want to draw attention to: “enduring conditions.”
Typically and historically, trauma has been thought of as an isolated and discrete event or events: a car crash, a bombing, a rape, military service.
And certainly, all of these are examples of what could be traumatic for someone.
But Karen Saakvitne, Ph.D., a distinguished trauma therapist and author, also nuances that trauma can be a set of enduring conditions.
Enduring conditions are complex and protracted, meaning they take place repeatedly over time.
For children who are powerless and who depend on their caregivers quite literally to preserve their young lives, examples of traumatic enduring conditions could be:
- Abandonment or threat of abandonment;
- Neglectful treatment or conditions;
- Outright verbal, emotional, or physical abuse;
- Witnessing domestic violence or frightened or frightening behavior from one or both parents.
