And yet, it’s the most fulfilling, rewarding, creative career I could possibly imagine doing and it’s a sincere honor for me to be able to make it my life’s work and to help my clients in any way I can.
So in honor of achieving this personal and professional milestone, I wanted to write a post about the top ten things I’ve learned as a therapist about this wild thing called being human.
The Top Ten Things I’ve Learned As A Therapist.
1. Relationships wound. And they can also heal.
Most of our wounds, patterns, and behaviors are usually put down early in relationship and it’s through relationship that these wounds get mirrored back to us and, moreover, it’s also through a certain kind of caring, attuned, and responsible relationship that the wounds may finally have a chance to heal.
The magic and the mystery of therapy is that whatever your wounds and patterns are in the outside world, they will ultimately show up in the therapy room and that’s actually great! It gives us a chance to safely and compassionately heal and work with these patterns in a way that you may have never experienced before.
THAT’S where the healing power of therapy lies; it’s not in the increased self-awareness (though that’s great!), it’s in the actual experience of a healing relationship with your therapist.
2. No matter where you’re starting from, transformation is possible.
This has become the unofficial tagline of my business because I bone-deeply believe that it’s true: No matter where you’re starting from, transformation IS possible.
A thing I’ve learned in my time as a therapist is that most of us, when given the right conditions, will thrive and flourish. What are these conditions? Most likely they include positive regard, acceptance, support, attunement, safety, and constancy of relationship. And it may also look like removing yourself from dysfunctional or abusive people, or moving across the country to get away from your family of origin, or coming out, or rejecting the path you thought you were “supposed” to take. Etc., etc..
So no matter where you are starting out from, no matter what your childhood was like, no matter how many disappointing relationships, bad jobs, or unfulfilling life choices you’ve experienced, it’s still possible for you to experience something different, for transformation to happen within your life.
And you can set yourself up for success by getting clear on what the conditions you need for your growth and healing might be, and then giving them to yourself. (and hint: therapy is a great place to find those conditions!)
