So why do I care for this Encanto character so much? Why do I love Abuela?
Because she’s a perfect (albeit fictional) example of how someone might organize themselves in the wake of traumatic events.
And I find her incredibly relatable because her way of organizing herself in the world is a lot like how I organize myself, too.
(This is the point in the post where I’m going to tell you to stop reading if you haven’t seen Encanto and don’t want any spoilers.)
Encanto’s story as a classic trauma response.
In Encanto, we learn that Abuela endured a massive trauma.
Forced to flee from her home with her infant triplets and husband, her husband was murdered trying to protect them as they fled (caveat: I presume this – Disney didn’t explicitly show this, it’s only implied).
So there she was – a young, post-partum mother of three with no home, no partner, and no safety in the middle of the Colombian countryside.
And then “a miracle” happened and she was given and granted safety and refuge (in the form of an ever-burning magical candle) and she was able to not only raise her babies but provide a home for their babies and a community sprung up around them all.
And, as we learn minutes into the film when the first song starts to play (The Family Madrigal), Abuela forms an organizing belief about what will keep her family safe:
We swear to always
Help those around us
And earn the miracle
That somehow found us
The town keeps growing
The world keeps turning
But work and dedication will keep the miracle burning
And each new generation must keep the miracle burning
In essence, as I understand it, she believes it – the safety, the security – will disappear if she and her children and their children don’t show up in service, working hard and pushing themselves to “earn” that safety.
The past is still present for Abuela.
The dangers of her history aren’t there anymore, but Abuela effectively believes the danger could be back at any moment, all the safety and security ripped away from her and those she loves.
And so she continues to push herself and her family relentlessly towards hard work and self-sacrificing service, the very things she believes will protect them.
Like I said before: she is so darn relatable.
Relentless hard work and control as coping mechanisms.
When we endure traumatic events – be it prolonged and protracted childhood abuse and neglect and/or single incident traumas like a car crash, rape, or robbery – if we don’t have the proper support at the time of the event(s) to help us effectively “metabolize” the trauma, we may form maladaptive beliefs about ourselves, others and the world around us and then further form maladaptive behaviors around these beliefs.
What’s a maladaptive belief?
