This little community – this corner of the internet devoted to exploring relational trauma recovery – has grown exponentially in the last few years. And I suspected all the new folks on this list would benefit from seeing one of my cornerstone older essays. I didn’t imagine so many of you long-time readers would appreciate the synchronistic nature of it. Being re-sent an essay about being disowned that was what you needed to hear again at this moment.
In honor of the fact that sometimes what’s old can still be salient and helpful… And in honor of the fact that tomorrow is Halloween. It is my favorite holiday and so symbolic of how we “try on” parts. I again wanted to share an older essay: “The Psychological Benefit Of Re-Integrating The Disowned Parts Of Ourselves.”
This little essay remains, for me, evergreen. It teaches me to explore those strong, adverse reactions I have. To question the jealousies that rise up inside of me. And to be curious about what parts of me I may have disowned and that now external circumstances trigger.
Re-integrating the disowned parts of ourselves.
When I pay attention to those parts of myself that have gone underground, that have been pushed to the back burner, and get curious about what they need and how bringing those parts and all their attendant desires more actively into my life…. inevitably I feel more enlivened.
And truly: feeling more enlivened is the crux and core of this relational trauma recovery work that we do.
So today, I want to share with you this older essay to help you explore what the psychological benefit of re-integrating your own disowned parts might be for you.
If, after reading it, you feel so inclined, I’d love to know from you in the comments:
What’s one previously disavowed and disowned aspect of yourself that you previously identified and re-integrated back into your life?
What was the benefit of reclaiming that part of you? What feels different and better now that you have?
What was one clue, one sign, one signal that pointed you to this disowned or disavowed part of you?
