In fact, for some, this – social isolation, social distancing, restricting engagement with the world and with others – is the norm rather than the exception.
These people are those who cope and manage their daily experience through self-isolation, an experience and way of being that predates COVID.
These people are those who find it easier to be alone than to be with others.
These are people who may be looking around, wondering why everyone is having such a hard time with limited contact as it feels so intuitive and normal to them.
These are people who don’t find the COVID-induced isolation that different or that intolerable.
And no, these people are not just introverts as glib social posts might poke fun at.
Today’s essay explores why this is – why it may feel easier for some to feel safer and better alone than to be with others – and what the causes and impacts of self-isolation are, and what can be done about it.
If this topic resonates with you, please read on.
Do You Feel Shakier Inside Than Your Life Looks on the Outside?
A quiz to help you understand why you might feel less stable beneath the surface despite working so hard to build a good life.
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Self-isolation is a common trauma symptom.
“Let me tell you this: if you meet a loner, no matter what they tell you, it’s not because they enjoy solitude. It’s because they have tried to blend into the world before, and people continue to disappoint them.” ― Jodi Picoult, My Sister’s Keeper
As I mentioned in the introduction, those who are experiencing the isolation aspect of COVID and finding it tolerable, normal, and perhaps preferable, are not just introverts as social media humor likes to poke fun at.
Sure, some introverts may be having an easier time coping with the forced lack of togetherness But there’s another group who may prefer isolation for far different reasons. Those who come from relational trauma backgrounds.
For those that come from relational trauma backgrounds, self-isolation may be a very familiar experience. They have backgrounds in which they experienced neglect, chaos, dysfunction or outright abuse from their caregivers over an extended period of time.
Indeed, self-isolation is both a psychosocial repercussion and aggravating influence of coming from a trauma history.
The impacts of coming from a relational trauma background are as wide and varied. The individuals who move through those experiences and symptoms can range from the innocuous, to the severe in impact, for each person.
