These recent weeks have been a reminder of so many things.
DEFINITION
RELATIONAL TRAUMA
Relational trauma refers to psychological injury that occurs within the context of important relationships, particularly those with primary caregivers during childhood. Unlike single-incident trauma, relational trauma involves repeated experiences of emotional neglect, inconsistency, manipulation, or abuse within bonds where safety and trust should have been foundational.
A reminder that the ancient wound of racism, supremacy, and violence (in thought and in action) is wide open and still festering in this country.
Race-Based Traumatic Stress
Race-based traumatic stress (RBTS) refers to the psychological impact of racism-related events and the ongoing experience of living in a racially hostile society. First described by Dr. Robert Carter, RBTS recognizes that exposure to racial discrimination, microaggressions, racial violence, and systemic racism can produce trauma responses—including PTSD symptoms—in individuals and communities. Unlike other trauma frameworks, RBTS specifically accounts for the cumulative, chronic, and socially sanctioned nature of racial harm.
A reminder that our current President does not stand (nor take a stand) firmly rooted in esteemable morals and good judgment. (And let’s be real, that’s putting it extremely mildly).
A reminder that even our family, friend, and acquaintance groups may be divided in themselves about how (if at all) to respond or react to this.
These past few weeks have been a reminder of so much personal and collective pain, a reminder of so many deeply entrenched, destructive systemic issues that seem to have no solution.
Oh, and of course, we’re dealing with all of this against the backdrop of a global pandemic, the likes of which most living has never known.
I had a blog post scheduled to go out this week all about boundaries and the downside to being a high-functioning overachiever.
That post is on pause and, depending on events and the coming weeks, I may even delay the launch of my course.
I don’t want to draw attention away from the most important issues right now: racial injustice, white supremacy, and the horror of what it means to be a POC in this country.
And honestly, my voice is not the most educated, relevant, or important voice to talk about this, even in my own blog post.
I’m a privileged White woman.
This is not my time to speak up, it’s my time to listen, to learn, and to amplify and elevate other more marginalized voices who have powerful and important things to say.
White apathy is lethal and what’s also true is that we can use our voices and rage in ways that might unintentionally harm and silence others when we’re doing so.
But White silence is violence, too.
TAKE THE QUIZ
What’s driving your relational patterns?
A 3-minute assessment to identify the core wound beneath your relationship struggles.
Take the Free Quiz
And so I’m speaking up, but hopefully in a way that elevates and supports. I may get it wrong, but I’m willing to try.
Signs You May Be Carrying Relational Trauma
Take this 5-minute, 25-question quiz to find out — and learn what to do next if you do.
START THE QUIZ
(function() { var qs,js,q,s,d=document, gi=d.getElementById, ce=d.createElement, gt=d.getElementsByTagName, id=”typef_orm_share”, b=”https://embed.typeform.com/”; if(!gi.call(d,id)){ js=ce.call(d,”script”); js.id=id; js.src=b+”embed.js”; q=gt.call(d,”script”)[0]; q.parentNode.insertBefore(js,q) } })()
So to that end, what I want to do in this post is to share a curated list of activists, thought leaders, and resources (organized by topic category) if you, like me, are hungry to learn more and do more to play a part in the undoing of White supremacy and brutal racism that is woven into the fabric of this country.
And for anyone who questions why a therapist might share such a “non-neutral” “non-clinical” blog post, know that social justice issues are INEXTRICABLY linked to mental health because therapy clients do not live in a vacuum.
They are shaped and formed by society, culture, and context. Social justice issues ARE clinical issues, full stop.
Please, don’t stay silent, be willing to be uncomfortable, and weave the undoing of White supremacy into your personal growth work as much as you might any other mental health issue.
Strong POC voices to follow and learn/unlearn from now:
Additional multimedia resources if you want to learn about White privilege, White Supremacy, Racism, and what you can do to help:
And friends, I want to learn from you: what other resources would you add to this list? What other strong and important POC voices and activists would you recommend that I/we follow?
In times like these, it’s important that we take care of ourselves, and that we take care of each other in whatever ways seem possible for each of us.
We are living in extraordinarily challenging times plainly seeing and feeling painful, social systemic wounds that, perhaps, many of us with privilege haven’t had to confront or live with so acutely yet.
Understanding Racial Trauma Through Social Justice-Informed Therapy
When you enter therapy carrying not just your individual trauma but the collective weight of systemic oppression—the hypervigilance from being Black in America, the grief from watching another murder trending on social media, the exhaustion from explaining your humanity to those who should already see it—your therapist must understand that if you’re a black sheep, here’s why you should stand with Black Lives Matter because recognizing patterns of systemic abuse in any form prepares us to identify and interrupt them everywhere.
Social justice-informed therapy recognizes that your mental health doesn’t exist in a vacuum separate from the society that shaped it. Your therapist understands that treating your anxiety without addressing the racist encounters causing it, or working on your depression while ignoring the systemic barriers crushing your hope, would be clinical malpractice.
They see how racial trauma compounds with individual trauma, how microaggressions accumulate into complex PTSD, how code-switching exhausts your authentic self, and how gaslighting about racism mirrors the gaslighting in abusive relationships.
The therapeutic work involves both individual healing and systemic awareness. Your therapist helps you process the unique burden of racial trauma—the inherited grief, the anticipatory anxiety, the complicated anger that’s both justified and policed.
They validate that your hypervigilance isn’t paranoia but an adaptive response to real danger, that your exhaustion isn’t weakness but the toll of navigating hostile systems, that your rage isn’t “too much” but an appropriate response to injustice. Together, you develop strategies for surviving and thriving within oppressive systems while maintaining hope for change.
Through this work, therapy becomes a radical act of resistance—refusing to pathologize normal responses to abnormal circumstances, refusing to treat symptoms while ignoring causes, refusing to separate personal healing from collective liberation.
Your therapist holds space for both your individual story and the larger narrative of systemic oppression, understanding that true mental health requires not just personal coping strategies but societal transformation.
The goal isn’t to help you adjust to injustice but to support your psychological wellbeing while you work toward a more just world.
Please understand: I don’t have the answers.
Instead, I join you in the question of how to best help in the small ways I can, including continuing to own and understand my own White privilege, elevating voices that are relevant and important, and taking personal action to eradicate racial injustice and raise an anti-racist White daughter, and to do this as I labor in my daily life and tend to my corner of the world in Berkeley, California.
This post is less an article than it is a letter from me to you, wanting you to know that I’m in it with you, that I’m thinking of you, that I have a couple of resources that might feel helpful for you.
But most of all to let you know that we’re all in this together. I’ll keep trying to do what I can to be of support to you as these weeks, months, and years unfold.
And so, I wonder:
How are you doing? How’s your heart been in this past week? What and who has been supporting you in moving through your feelings about the times?
Leave me a message in the comments below. I’d love to know how you’re doing in your corner of the world.
Here’s to healing relational trauma and creating thriving lives on solid foundations.
Warmly,
Annie
PS: And please, if you do not support Black Lives Matter, unsubscribe from my articles. Thanks.
Related Reading
|
Free Quiz
What’s Running Your Life?
The invisible patterns you can’t outwork…
|
Your LinkedIn profile tells one story. Your 3 AM thoughts tell another. This quiz reveals the childhood patterns keeping you running — and why enough is never enough.
Free · 5 Minutes · Instant Results
TAKE THE QUIZ →
|
RESOURCES & REFERENCES
- !important;text-decoration:none!important;">Additional multimedia resources if you want to learn about White privilege, White Supremacy, Racism, and what you can do to help:
- !important;text-decoration:none!important;">Understanding Racial Trauma Through Social Justice-Informed Therapy
- !important;text-decoration:none!important;">Please understand: I don’t have the answers.
