Deviating from the clinical frame of EMDR (and, arguably, professionalism in general), I wiped tears from my eyes and told her, “That might be the best thing I’ve ever heard anyone say about changing their negative cognitions with EMDR! I might have to steal that from you.”

She and I both laughed, and we resumed reprocessing, continuing our work to resolve the trauma of her earlier experiences and internalize new, more positive cognitions and beliefs to support her. 

But after the session ended, I couldn’t help smiling thinking about what she said. “Marie Kondo’ing her negative belief.” I thought, what a great analogy she came up with to describe one of the primary intents of EMDR therapy. And, indeed, one of the core tenants of relational trauma recovery work.

In today’s essay, I want to explore the concept of maladaptive beliefs and negative cognitions. Illustrate how they form in order to protect us. And discuss how – when they eventually stop serving us – we can use EMDR (or other bottom-up, brain-based trauma treatment approaches) to “Marie Kondo” those beliefs. Finally, I’ll provide some prompts to help you get started “Marie Kondo’ing” your own negative beliefs, too.

What are maladaptive beliefs and negative cognitions?

A maladaptive belief or negative cognition can, for the purposes of this essay, be used interchangeably. As I define them in my clinical work, these are thoughts about self, others, and the world that are central to one’s identity and are prone towards negative bias, distorted, and largely fixed. 

Maladaptive beliefs and negative cognitions form (often unconsciously) in response to our social, environmental, and emotional experiences, often early in life. But we’re capable of forming these kinds of beliefs long after childhood, too. 

Within the framework and theory of EMDR, my personal EMDR trainer and consultant (and one of Francine Shapiro, Ph.D.’s original cohort of EMDR practitioners) Andrew Leeds, Ph.D. elaborates on the concept of negative cognitions further by stating that:

“Three elements make up the [negative cognition]: 1) A presently held 2) irrational belief, that comes to mind when 3) focusing on the disturbing memory. The [negative cognition] is: 1) not what was thought at the time of the original event, 2) not a possibly true description, 3) not necessarily believed (or acted on) all the time.”

So what are some examples of maladaptive beliefs and negative cognitions? 

There are thousands of examples of maladaptive beliefs and negative cognitions. But, using the theory and frame of EMDR, most are rooted in four core themes of self-defectiveness, responsibility, safety, and control. Below I list a handful of examples per theme:

• Self-defectiveness:
  • “I’m unworthy.”
  • “I’m unloveable.”
  • “I’m bad.”
  • “I’m broken.”

• Responsibility:
  • “I should have… [fill in the blank]”
  • “I shouldn’t have… [fill in the blank]”
  • “I should have known better.”
  • “It’s all my fault.”