Does any of this ring true for you? I know it certainly has from time-to-time for me. Honestly, in my professional opinion as a psychotherapist, I truly don’t think any of us escape feeling jealous, envy, or comparing ourselves to others during this whole human experience.
But contrary to popular belief, I don’t think this — jealousy — has to be such a bad thing. In fact, I think that jealousy can actually be a good thing and teach you something pretty important if you pay attention to it. So if you’d like to explore some ideas about how to view and harness jealousy into a positive force in your life, keep reading…
What exactly *is* jealousy and why does it get such a bad rep?
Jealousy, according to Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary is:
: an unhappy or angry feeling of wanting to have what someone else has.
My personal and professional interpretation of jealousy is that it’s a complex emotion containing shades of anger, fear, and longing that can be quite uncomfortable to experience but is, nonetheless, a nearly universal human emotion.
But despite its universality, jealousy – like so many other emotions labeled as “negative” – has long had a bad rep. From being listed as one of the seven deadly sins to pop culture references such as “Green Eyed Monster,” jealousy’s long been been viewed as “bad” and mythology and history have overflowed with examples of evil queens and murderous rivals who did awful things thanks to the roots of jealousy.
No wonder so many of us experience shame and humiliation when we admit to ourselves we’re jealous of what we see others having!
Let’s face it: jealousy doesn’t always feel good to feel but that doesn’t mean it’s a “bad” emotion.
A little re-frame.
If you’ve been a reader of my blog for any time, you probably know that I don’t think there’s any such thing as a “bad emotion.” Rather, all emotions are inherently neutral and they are signals in our body that call out for our attention and attentiveness.
Jealousy is no different.
Jealousy may not always be comfortable to feel, but like all emotions, it’s a signal in our emotional body that contains information and important clues for us to pay attention to in order to support ourselves to live a more enlivened life.
In fact, I truly believe that jealousy in particular provides three great opportunities for you to learn and grow if you’re willing to pay attention to it.
What jealousy can teach us.
Jealousy, like so many emotions, can be a good teacher. Here are three ways and ideas about how and what jealousy can teach you if you tune into this clue:
1) A clue towards your true desires.
Instead of shaming or blaming yourself for feeling jealousy, I invite you to consider that jealousy is actually trying to get your attention and make you aware of what you truly want, what your deep desires are, and possibly take action on those desires.
