Relational trauma impacts our ability to form secure, healthy attachments.
Relational trauma can deeply impact our ability to form healthy relationships in dating and marriage.
The preeminent couples counselor, researcher, and mental health thought leader Ester Perel, LMFT has often been quoted as saying, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.”
And yet, increasing bodies of research tell us those who come from relational trauma histories often struggle in relationships.
What do I mean by this?
And what impact does that have on the quality of our lives?
Let’s unpack this.
Relational trauma – particularly the kind of trauma that results over the course of time in the context of a power-imbalanced and dysfunctional relationship (usually between a child and caregiver) – results in a host of complex and lingering biopsychosocial impacts for the individual who endured the trauma.
The term “biopsychosocial impacts” refers to the combined effects of biological, psychological, and social factors on an individual’s health, well-being, and overall functioning.
This concept recognizes that a person’s health and experiences are influenced by a complex interplay of these factors.
Understanding these impacts involves considering how various aspects of a person’s biology, mental health, and social environment interact and contribute to their overall health and functioning.
In today’s post, we’re exploring the “social” component of the biopsychosocial model – the relational component.
Those who endure childhood trauma – relational trauma – often experience a wide variety of impairments. Especially when it comes to their ability to form close, connected relationships socially.
What are some of these impairments?
Insecure attachment:
Attachment theory, developed by the incredible psychiatrist John Bowlby, MD, suggests that early experiences with caregivers play a crucial role in shaping one’s ability to form secure attachments in later relationships. Childhood trauma can disrupt the development of secure attachment patterns, leading to attachment insecurities.
Impaired ability to trust and be vulnerable:
Childhood trauma can lead to issues with trust and vulnerability. Individuals who have experienced trauma may struggle to trust others. They may be hesitant to be emotionally vulnerable in their relationships, which can hinder the formation of secure attachments.
Fear of Abandonment:
Individuals with a history of childhood trauma may have an increased fear of abandonment. This is due to past experiences of neglect or rejection. This relational trauma impact can manifest as clinginess, possessiveness, or a constant need for reassurance in relationships. This is an extrapolation on insecure attachment.
