After we’ve developed our “Healthy Mind Platters”, we take any concrete and practical steps to ensure we’re meeting those seven needs on a roughly regular basis. The second part of the work is cultivating and calling upon a wide toolbox of tools. This will help us widen our window of tolerance and increase our own self-regulation abilities for when we are dysregulated. When we find ourselves outside of the optimal arousal zone and in the hyper- or hypoarousal states.
The Second Step: Develop Your Self-Regulation Toolbox.
Having a rich, robust, and personalized toolbox is one way we practice resiliency and rebound. Especially when we find ourselves in hyper- or hypo-arousal zones.
We do this work by developing practices, habits, tools, and internalized and externalized resources that help soothe, regulate, redirect, and ground ourselves.
I focus heavily in my work with my therapy clients to help them cultivate a wide, diverse, rich, and effective multi-sensory toolbox of resources. They can use this to practice resiliency when dysregulated and outside of their Windows of Tolerance.
Detailing the breadth and specifics of all of these tools is beyond the scope of this essay. I wrote an article way back in 2016 that has 101 self-care suggestions for a bad day. It’s a great piece to take inspiration from as you build your own toolbox.
Whatever tools resonate with you, I’ll share that when working with my clients, I aim to make sure these tools are both internal and external in nature (meaning tools you can both do without external props or relational resources, and tools and options that include those things), multisensory (meaning that they engage all five senses), and invisible and visible (meaning tools you can use at home when no one’s watching, and tools you can use in the conference room when your boss is presenting and looking at you).
I also have my therapy clients design different toolboxes for when they might be dysregulated and in hyperarousal vs. hypoarousal zones.
Let’s explore what this can look like.
Actual Examples of “Self-regulation Toolboxes.”
Here’s an example of a multi-sensory self-regulation toolbox I developed with someone. You can do this at home if you’re hyperaroused and going into panic, anxiety, anger, and irritation:
Multi-Sensory Hyperarousal Toolbox:
- Practicing box breathing.
- Listening to Native American flute music.
- Putting lavender oil on wrists and temples.
- Holding an ice cube in one hand and letting it melt.
- Looking at a photo of someone they love in a happier, more regulated time.
And here are some tools for someone who is prone to hypoarousal.
