That’s A LOT of opportunity to feel overwhelmed, exhausted, incapable, and weary, in need of a pep talk.

And many of us still cope with all of that without having functional, supportive parents we can turn to for support when we need it most when we’re feeling all those big, hard feelings.

That’s the crummy thing about coming from a relational trauma history: the impulse to turn to your caregivers for support never really leaves (that’s human nature) but the double bind is that the people you want to turn to for support are likely the ones who hurt you the most and/or have extremely limited capacities.

It’s painful. 

And it can feel lonely. 

Today’s blog is another in the pep talk series.

And so today’s blog post is another in the pep talk series that I’ve curated over the years on my site – a series meant to provide you with the written words of support that ideally a good enough mother, a good enough father, and even an idealized grandparent could give you.

Words of encouragement, validation, comfort, mirroring, and cheerleading so that you can cultivate your own inner good enough parents, imaginal resources you can call upon in the absence of flesh and blood support when life gets tough.

As strong as you are, even lions need to lick their wounds, and the words in this pep talk is meant as salve for when you hurt. 

I hope that today’s essay, written from the perspective of a good enough grandfather, brings you some support and peace and comfort when and if you need it. 

If it does, please let me know in the comments. I truly love hearing from you. 

Even lions need to lick their wounds.

Hey kiddo. 

You’re going through a really tough time right now, aren’t you? 

You’re working so hard nearly every minute of the day, nearly every day of the week. 

I see you trying so hard to do right by so many people: your colleagues, your clients, your partner, your children, your neighbors, your friends.

You’re giving all you have, aren’t you?

And you’re tired. 

I can hear it in your voice when you call up. 

I can see it in your eyes in those last photos you posted to the iPhotos album.

You’re weary. 

No, no, hear me out. 

It’s not a criticism. 

You don’t have to pretend you’re not weary and tired. Not with me you don’t!

I know how that feels. 

I remember being in my 30’s and 40’s and feeling like I was single handedly in charge of trying to get a jumbo jet off the ground to cruising altitude. 

Life felt so hard. 

Building the career, building financial security, giving to so many people and so many pursuits with so little energy or time left for me.