“For trauma survivors, developing a toolkit of self-regulation and self-care strategies is essential. These tools provide a way to manage overwhelming emotions and reclaim a sense of safety and control in their lives.” – Janina Fisher, Ph.D.

In this fourth piece of a five part series (parts 1, 2, and 3 are here) on the fundamental tools that should be in our self-care tool chests when we come from relational trauma backgrounds, we explore yet another proverbial drawer: coping tools.

What even are coping tools?

I gave a high level overview of this in my first piece in this series, but, to reiterate again, coping tools, in essence, refer to the in-the-moment strategies and techniques individuals use to manage really challenging, big feeling situations.

And for those of us from relational trauma backgrounds, really challenging situations can be “objectively” small moments that subjectively feel huge and overwhelming (especially before we’ve done more of our trauma processing work in stage two of the trauma treatment model).

So it behooves all of us from trauma backgrounds to have a really rich and full drawer of coping tools since we’ll likely be using them A LOT.

I’ve written about many, many coping tools before here and here but in today’s piece, I’m going to share a list of even more coping strategies – many derived from DBT (Dialectical Behavioral Therapy) and CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), two gold standard therapies for distress reduction.

Twenty coping tools for your self-care tool chest

1. Mindfulness practice: Mindfulness is about being fully present in the moment without judgment. By simply observing your thoughts and feelings without reacting to them, you can cultivate a sense of calm and reduce the impact of distressing emotions. Try to take a few minutes each day to practice this awareness, noticing your breath or the sensations around you. Honestly, I think 30 seconds counts…
   
2. Radical acceptance: Acceptance doesn’t mean you have to LIKE your situation, but acknowledging reality as it is can significantly reduce your distress. Embrace your current situation without trying to change it, and you may find that your frustration decreases. Remember, acceptance is about facing facts, not about giving up. You can still work towards change!
   
3. Distraction techniques: When emotions become overwhelming, sometimes the best approach is to give your mind a break (honestly probably my favorite technique!). Engage in activities like reading, watching a few minutes of Netflix, or pursuing a hobby (like 10 minutes of Duo Lingo) to temporarily shift your focus and lower the emotional intensity.