How to manage your anxiety around the Coronavirus.
How to manage your anxiety around the Coronavirus.
Emotional Regulation & Nervous System • February 29, 2020
SUMMARY
Your anxiety around the coronavirus is not just about the virus itself but about how your nervous system, already primed to worry, reacts to the uncontrollable uncertainty of this moment, especially when your usual tools of control and productivity fall short. Coronavirus anxiety sits at the intersection of a real, tangible health threat and the ways your brain twists anxious thoughts, turning vigilance into overwhelm rather than clear, manageable action. Healing this anxiety means holding both the legitimate risk and your nervous system’s response with compassion, grounding yourself physically, challenging anxious thinking, and using specific tools to prevent emotional flooding while continuing your daily responsibilities. Your anxiety around the coronavirus sits at the crossroads of a real, tangible threat and a nervous system already primed to worry—especially if you’re someone used to managing anxiety through control and competence. This post offers grounded strategies like grounding your nervous system, untwisting anxious thoughts, and taking smart, practical actions that acknowledge the reality without letting your fear spiral out of control.
Health anxiety is a persistent, excessive worry about having or developing a serious illness that goes beyond what medical facts or risks actually support. It is not the same as taking responsible precautions or being mindful of your health; rather, it becomes problematic when it dominates your thoughts, drives compulsive behaviors like constant checking, or disrupts your daily functioning. For someone like you—competent, driven, and used to preparing for challenges—health anxiety can feel like an internal saboteur, turning your vigilance into overwhelm instead of effective action. Recognizing this helps you separate when your mind is spinning beyond what’s necessary and gently reclaim your focus without judgment or shame.
Your anxiety around the coronavirus is not just about the virus itself but about how your nervous system, already primed to worry, reacts to the uncontrollable uncertainty of this moment, especially when your usual tools of control and productivity fall short.
Coronavirus anxiety sits at the intersection of a real, tangible health threat and the ways your brain twists anxious thoughts, turning vigilance into overwhelm rather than clear, manageable action.
Healing this anxiety means holding both the legitimate risk and your nervous system’s response with compassion, grounding yourself physically, challenging anxious thinking, and using specific tools to prevent emotional flooding while continuing your daily responsibilities.
Unless you’ve been living under a rock and taking a major detox from all forms of media consumption and social contact, you’re well aware that the world is talking about COVID-19, the coronavirus.
SUMMARY
Coronavirus anxiety sits at the intersection of real, legitimate threat and a nervous system that was already primed to worry. For driven, ambitious women—many of whom carry baseline anxiety that has been managed through competency and control—a situation that cannot be controlled through preparation or productivity is particularly activating. This post offers specific, grounded strategies for managing anxiety that are calibrated to the real threat without letting it spiral into overwhelm.
And, like many, you’ve likely felt surges of anxiety about the coronavirus.
I get it. And I have a bit, too.
I have a 15-month old daughter and live and work in one of the major metropolitan areas of the world.
Odds are very high coronavirus will touch the Bay Area.
So how do we manage this coronavirus anxiety even as we move forward with our jobs and lives, tending to what we need to on a daily basis while living with the possibility that this flu could touch our lives.
DEFINITIONRELATIONAL TRAUMA
Relational trauma refers to psychological injury that occurs within the context of important relationships, particularly those with primary caregivers during childhood. Unlike single-incident trauma, relational trauma involves repeated experiences of emotional neglect, inconsistency, manipulation, or abuse within bonds where safety and trust should have been foundational.
I think we first take action where we can and then we use all the tools we have to manage our anxiety and help others around us manage their anxiety.
Health Anxiety
Health anxiety refers to excessive fear or preoccupation with having or developing a serious illness, often in the absence of medical evidence to support that fear, or disproportionate to the level of actual risk. During a pandemic, some degree of health concern is rational and appropriate. Health anxiety becomes problematic when it is persistent, consumes significant mental bandwidth, drives compulsive checking behaviors, or significantly interferes with daily functioning—particularly for those with existing anxiety patterns or trauma histories.
In terms of action, I’m an advocate for smart preparations and taking practical steps wherever when we can. Whether this is prepping for California wildfire season. Having an earthquake kit at home and at my daughter’s daycare. Or having all the necessary fire safety equipment at my boutique therapy center.
So how do we manage this anxiety?
Taking action when you can and when and where it’s appropriately advised and indicated is a smart thing to do.
To that end, I highly recommend that each of us do what we can to keep our immune systems healthy. And then read up on what the CDC is recommending Americans do to prepare for a possible outbreak and isolation and then follow their guidance.
If stocking up on two weeks of shelf-stable food and water and bleach makes you feel better and less anxious, go for it!
If developing a plan with your child’s school/daycare provider alleviates your fear, do it.
Whatever action(s) you need or want to take that will help you feel more in control to deal with whatever may come, do it.
But what do you do when you’ve taken all the action you can and your anxiety is still peaking?
What do you do to manage your own feelings so you can be more calm and present for your kids or loved ones?
Here are a few of my best anxiety-management tools.
I hope they feel helpful and useful to you in these times.
When you’re feeling anxious, your autonomic nervous system (ANS) is aroused. It activates your fight, flight, or freeze impulses, catalyzing a whole cascade of physiological symptoms throughout your body.
One of the ways you can begin to calm your nervous system and ease your anxiety is through some physical grounding and breath-driven self-soothing.
A tool I’ve found to be incredibly effective is a simple presence and breathing exercise:
Sit comfortably in a chair or on the couch. Let your eyes close. Rest your hands on your legs or on the furniture in whatever way feels comfortable to you. Slowly, and with your lips slightly open, begin taking a deep breath in. Push your lower abdomen out with air, bringing oxygen to the bottom of your lungs.
As you breathe in, notice your feet on the floor, your butt on the cushion, your back against the furniture. On your exhale, release your breath slowly — a few counts longer than your inhale — and continue bringing your awareness to any sensations or sounds you notice — maybe your fingers on the fabric of your pants, the sound of traffic outside, the breeze coming in through the window…
Breathe in and breath out slowly, noticing all the slight sensations around you for 10-15 slow, mindful breaths, allowing your body to relax and your mind to center. And finally, when you’re ready, come back to the room.
The benefit to this particular tool is that it helps bring oxygen to our brain and calms our autonomic nervous system, allowing us to relax and access more parts of ourselves and to think and act from a more grounded, integrated place.
Signs You May Be Carrying Relational Trauma
Take this 5-minute, 25-question quiz to find out — and learn what to do next if you do.
Coronavirus Anxiety Tool #2: Untwist Your Thinking & Challenge Your Anxiety-Provoking Thoughts.
If you pay attention to what you’re saying to yourself when you catch yourself feeling anxious, you’re probably saying something scary to yourself.
Anxiety scans our lives and futures and tries to warn us of possible threats, so it’s pretty masterful in triggering scary thoughts.
One of my other favorite tools when my clients are struggling with scary, catastrophic future-oriented thoughts is to have them untwist their thinking with a version of questioning informed by The Work by Byron Katie.
Byron Katie is a spiritual teacher, author, and creator of The Work, which, according to her website is “a way of identifying and questioning the thoughts that cause all the anger, fear, depression, addiction, and violence in the world.”
The Work is available for free on her website and while you can review all the steps of her process there, what I have my clients do is a simplified version of her process consisting of identifying and naming the anxiety-provoking thought, asking questions to test its reality, and turning the thought inside out by finding four reasons why that thought may not be fully true.
FREE QUIZ
The invisible patterns you can’t outwork…
Your LinkedIn profile tells one story. Your 3 AM thoughts tell another. This quiz reveals the childhood patterns keeping you running — and why enough is never enough.
When you challenge the truth of the thoughts that are creating your anxiety and literally untwist them by finding reasons why the opposite might be true, you can create a bit more flexibility in your thinking.
And since thoughts can generate feelings, when you create more spaciousness and flexibility in your thinking, you can often ease your anxiety.
Coronavirus Anxiety Tools #3 & #4: Halt Emotional Flooding Through Mental Distraction.
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Have you ever been so wrapped up in your anxiety that you started to become emotionally flooded?
Slightly short of breath, totally in your story, detached from the room you’re sitting in and the person you’re with because of the intensity of your feelings?
You may have been emotionally flooding.
Again, when you’re anxious and perceiving threats, your autonomic nervous system is aroused and your body becomes flooded with a cocktail of adrenaline and cortisol.
This can make it hard to think clearly and to maintain focus and react rationally.
This is emotional flooding.
Two ways you can interrupt this flooding and help yourself get centered and present is through the following tools, both of which were inspired by my understanding of Cognitive Behavioral Therapy.
Counting Colors.
If you catch yourself flooding or perhaps just caught in the loop of an anxiety-provoking thought, tell yourself to look around you in whatever room or environment you may be in, and try to scan the surroundings to find and count aloud five colors of a certain shade.
(Hint: I like to have my clients look for colors like purple or gold which are often far harder to find than colors like black and brown which tend to be pretty ubiquitous.)
The reason why this tool is effective is that it pulls your mind away from the intensity of the internal experience you’re having and forces your attention to be external, literally scanning your surroundings and focusing on a task, which can help reduce the emotional flooding you may have been experiencing.
Counting Backward. With a Twist.
Another great tool to use on yourself (or to use with someone else who is anxious and emotionally flooding) is to count backward.
But not just any counting backward — anyone can basically recite 100, 99, 98, 97, etc. without much concentration or effort.
What we want you to do instead is to pick a big number like 637 and then pick an odd, random number like 19.5 and start counting backward to zero from 637 by 19.5.
(Did you just frown in concentration reading those words? That’s exactly the point!)
Focused efforts to actually try and do that math engages your brain in a way that can distract from the anxiety and flooding you may have been experiencing.
Try it next time you’re emotionally flooding in any way, whether with anxiety, or maybe anger at a co-worker.
It’s a subtle, invisible tool that can be wonderful for emotional regulation.
Coronavirus Anxiety: Moving forward…
We don’t know what the coming weeks and months will hold with regards to the coronavirus.
But then again, we never really know what the coming weeks and months will hold with regard to anything.
As much as we like to think we’re in control and our futures are reasonably known and stable, they’re not. Not really.
But most of us avoid thinking about that or being in touch with that reality until something like this – the coronavirus – emerges and reminds us of how truly unpredictable life really is.
There’s one final thing I like to bear in mind when I feel anxiety about the coronavirus and when I see others feeling anxious: we humans have endured countless “plagues” and pandemics since time immemorial.
We have endured this before, we will endure it again.
And humanity has always persisted.
Take good care of yourself, my friend.
Do what you can to take action and then, if you’re struggling, please practice any of the tools I’ve outlined to support you.
Managing Pandemic Anxiety Through Somatic-Informed Therapy
When you arrive at therapy with coronavirus anxiety so intense you can barely leave your house for groceries, describing how news updates trigger panic attacks and hand-washing has become compulsive, your therapist helps you understand that pandemic anxiety is unique because it combines legitimate external threat with internal anxiety patterns, requiring you to build what they call 101 self-care suggestions when it all feels like too much to create a sustainable anxiety management system.
Your therapist distinguishes between productive and unproductive anxiety. Productive anxiety motivates appropriate action—hand hygiene, social distancing, supply preparation. Unproductive anxiety creates endless “what-if” spirals that exhaust your nervous system without improving safety.
Together, you develop a “worry window”—fifteen minutes daily to fully engage with coronavirus concerns, check updates, and make plans. Outside this window, you practice redirecting anxiety using somatic techniques.
Your therapist teaches you the “3-3-3 rule” for acute anxiety: name three things you see, three sounds you hear, three body parts you can move. This grounds you in present reality rather than catastrophic futures.
They help you recognize that coronavirus didn’t create your need for control—it revealed it. The pandemic makes visible what was always true: futures are inherently uncertain, control is largely illusion.
You work on “titrating” information consumption. Not complete avoidance (which increases anxiety through imagination) but measured doses. One news check daily, from reputable sources, with a grounding practice afterward.
Your therapist introduces “both/and” thinking. Both: this is genuinely concerning, and: humanity has survived pandemics before. Both: you should take precautions, and: excessive precaution becomes its own prison.
Most importantly, they help you find meaning within constraint. If pandemic anxiety reflects fear of death and loss of control, how can you live more fully within current limitations? What matters when everything nonessential strips away?
Through this work, coronavirus anxiety becomes manageable—not absent but contained enough that you can function, connect, and even find unexpected pockets of peace within global uncertainty.
Here’s to healing relational trauma and creating thriving lives on solid foundations.
Your LinkedIn profile tells one story. Your 3 AM thoughts tell another. This quiz reveals the childhood patterns keeping you running — and why enough is never enough.
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I’m usually so in control, but this pandemic has me feeling overwhelmed and anxious all the time. Is it normal to feel this way?
Absolutely. It’s completely normal to feel overwhelmed and anxious during unprecedented times like a pandemic, especially for high-achieving women who are used to managing everything. This situation presents unique challenges that can disrupt our sense of control and safety, triggering anxiety even in those who typically feel very capable. Acknowledge these feelings without judgment, as they are a natural response to stress.
How can I stop my mind from constantly racing with ‘what if’ scenarios about the virus and my loved ones?
When your mind is caught in a loop of ‘what if’ scenarios, it’s often a protective but ultimately unhelpful response to uncertainty. Try setting aside a specific ‘worry time’ each day to consciously think about these concerns, and then intentionally redirect your thoughts during other times. Practicing grounding techniques, like focusing on your five senses, can also help bring you back to the present moment and interrupt the racing thoughts.
I feel guilty for being anxious when others have it worse. How do I deal with this feeling and still prioritize my mental health?
It’s common to feel guilt when you perceive others are suffering more, but anxiety isn’t a competition; your feelings are valid regardless of external circumstances. Your mental health is a priority, not a luxury, and tending to it allows you to be more resilient and present for yourself and others. Practice self-compassion, reminding yourself that your struggles are real and deserve attention, just like anyone else’s.
My productivity has plummeted, and I’m struggling to focus. Is this a sign of anxiety, and what can I do to get back on track?
Yes, a significant drop in productivity and difficulty focusing are very common signs of anxiety and chronic stress. Your brain is expending a lot of energy on threat detection, leaving less for complex tasks. To help regain focus, try breaking down tasks into much smaller, manageable steps and celebrate tiny accomplishments. Also, incorporate short mindfulness breaks throughout your day to gently bring your attention back to the present.
I’m worried about the long-term impact of this stress on my mental health, especially since I already deal with anxiety. What steps can I take now to protect myself?
It’s wise to be proactive about protecting your mental health, especially with pre-existing anxiety. Focus on establishing consistent routines for sleep, nutrition, and movement, as these provide a sense of stability amidst chaos. Prioritize maintaining safe social connections and consider engaging in activities that bring you joy or a sense of purpose. If your anxiety feels unmanageable, reaching out to a therapist for support is a powerful step towards long-term well-being.
Helping ambitious women finally feel as good as their résumé looks.
As a licensed psychotherapist, trauma-informed executive coach, and relational trauma specialist with over 15,000 clinical hours, she guides ambitious women — including Silicon Valley leaders, physicians, and entrepreneurs — in repairing the psychological foundations beneath their impressive lives. Annie is the founder and former CEO of Evergreen Counseling, a multimillion-dollar trauma-informed therapy center she built, scaled, and successfully exited. A regular contributor to Psychology Today, her expert commentary has appeared in Forbes, Business Insider, Inc., NBC, and The Information. She is currently writing her first book with W.W. Norton.
Absolutely. Anxiety is your nervous system's appropriate response to genuine threat and uncertainty. The key is distinguishing between productive anxiety that motivates preparation and unproductive anxiety that creates emotional flooding without actionable outcomes.
Taking action means following CDC guidelines and making reasonable preparations. Panic involves excessive, fear-driven behaviors beyond recommended guidelines. If stocking two weeks of supplies reduces anxiety, that's action; hoarding months of supplies is panic.
First regulate your own nervous system using grounding techniques before interacting with them. Children co-regulate with parents' emotional states, so your calm becomes their calm. It's okay to acknowledge uncertainty while demonstrating coping.
Anxiety creates thoughts that feel absolutely true but often aren't. When you find evidence against catastrophic thoughts, you create cognitive flexibility. This flexibility allows your nervous system to downshift from maximum threat response.
If anxiety prevents daily functioning, disrupts sleep for multiple nights, causes panic attacks, or leads to complete avoidance of necessary activities, professional support is warranted. Pandemic anxiety on top of existing anxiety disorders especially benefits from therapeutic intervention.
What's Running Your Life?
The invisible patterns you can’t outwork…
Your LinkedIn profile tells one story. Your 3 AM thoughts tell another. If vacation makes you anxious, if praise feels hollow, if you’re planning your next move before finishing the current one—you’re not alone. And you’re *not* broken.
This quiz reveals the invisible patterns from childhood that keep you running. Why enough is never enough. Why success doesn’t equal satisfaction. Why rest feels like risk.
Five minutes to understand what’s really underneath that exhausting, constant drive.
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