Two weeks ago, I wrote an article about child abuse. Specifically dispelling the notion that child abuse is “just” physical in nature.

I wrote about how child abuse can also look emotional, psychological, verbal and/or neglectful in nature and provided examples of what this can look like.

In today’s post, I want to introduce an idea of what can result from the complexity of this child abuse, particularly if the abuse takes place over a period of time and in the context of a relationship with a parent or guardian.

This idea is called complex relational trauma. And it can be deeply impactful to children and the adults that they become.

In today’s post, I want to provide a brief overview of what complex relational trauma is, how it happens, what the symptoms and impacts of this may be, and share a curated list of resources that you may want to explore further if you identify with it.

What is complex relational trauma?

“Unlike other forms of psychological disorders, the core issue in trauma is reality.” ― Bessel A. van der Kolk

First, let me be clear that it is not an official diagnosis in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders.

Complex relational trauma and its attendant symptoms do, however, most closely resemble PTSD which is in the DSM.

Why is complex relational trauma not in the DSM?

There are likely many explanations but one I personally and professionally believe is that the DSM – while valuable – sometimes fails to take into account our full spectrum of humanity and complicated relational experiences and, thus, lacks in some ways.

So, for the sake of this article, I’ll use the term complex relational trauma. I’ll explain it anecdotally (since an official diagnosis is lacking) and provide symptomatology that most closely resembles that of PTSD as well as what I’ve seen and understood clinically.

Complex relational trauma is interpersonal in nature. It happens in the context of close attachment relationships, usually when there is an imbalance of power.

In other words, it is likely to happen in our primary relationships with either parents, caregivers, guardians, or those with authority and great control over us. (For example, the head of a boarding school or director of an orphanage) where there is accessibility to the child or teen, and a level of dependency from the victim to the abuser.

Complex relational trauma is protracted not isolated. It happens more than once and usually over a period of time, making it also, usually, cumulative.