And head’s up: this blog post– structured in a Q & A format of the most frequently asked questions I’ve heard folks asking in the last week — is specifically written for those of us who voted for Hillary and who may be spending Thanksgiving with relatives, friends, or community members who may have voted for Trump.
But regardless of who is around your holiday table this year and no matter which way they voted, I hope my thoughts and answers below feel supportive and helpful to you as you enter the holiday this week.
Warmly, Annie
Question: So what do I do if I’m heading out to spend Thanksgiving with people who may have voted for Trump? And who will probably bring up politics at the dinner table? Or what do I do if I’m hosting Thanksgiving this year? I’m wary about arguments breaking out as we gather.
Answer: My recommendation would be that if you are in the hosting role, you take a proactive leadership and set the tone and “ground rules” at the start of the gathering by setting clear boundaries for your guests that you feel comfortable with.
For instance, are you comfortable with folks talking politics at the meal or perhaps afterwards in the living room? Are you okay with political discussions at any stage of the gathering as long as voices are not raised or the topic is not raised around children? If you’re not okay with politics being discussed at all this year at Thanksgiving, how can you politely but firmly state this and instead suggest that your friends and family join you in conversation this year by intentionally focusing on what went well in each other’s lives in 2016, what common bonds tie you all together, what your wishes for your friends and family in 2017 look like, etc..
If you are headed to a holiday gathering and not in the hosting role, I would suggest that you check in with the host at the start of the gathering to see what they personally feel comfortable with and then honor that person’s boundaries as much as possible (if that feels like something you can reasonably do). One option if your host doesn’t want any political conversations to take place at Thanksgiving is to offer to speak with someone offline, after the holiday, meeting up with them at a coffee shop or over the phone to continue the dialogue.
