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The biopsychosocial basics in our self-care tool chest.

Water reflection pale grey sky
Water reflection pale grey sky

The biopsychosocial basics in our self-care tool chest.

The biopsychosocial basics in our self-care tool chest. — Annie Wright trauma therapy

The biopsychosocial basics in our self-care tool chest.

Biopsychosocial Basics Self-Care Tool Chest Evaluation Checklist:

Physical Self-Care

  1. Sleep: Copious amounts of research shows that sleep is crucial for cognitive function, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. So how well are you tending to yours? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Nutrition: We’ve all heard it before but it bears repeating, consuming a diet rich in fruits, vegetables, healthy fats, nuts, and fish (such as the Mediterranean diet) is associated with a reduced risk of developing psychiatric symptoms like depression and anxiety. Conversely, a Western diet high in processed foods increases this risk. Is this a priority for you? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Physical Exercise: Regular exercise releases endorphins, which help reduce stress and improve mood. Studies have shown that individuals who engage in regular exercise experience fewer days of poor mental health and significant reductions in symptoms of depression and anxiety. What’s your relationship to movement like? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Regular Health Check-Ups: Did you know that routine health check-ups are positively associated with life satisfaction, positive emotions, and self-regulation? So tell me, do you prioritize this? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.

Psychological Self-Care

  1. Focus Time (Dr. Siegel’s Suggestion): Focused time, a concept coined by Dr. Siegel, shares overlap with meditation training which has been shown to improve emotion and attention regulation, reduce anxiety, and enhance cognitive performanceHow often are you doing this? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Time In (Dr. Siegel’s Suggestion): Time in, as I understand it, shares overlap with meditation programs which can reduce negative dimensions of psychological stressDo you make time for this? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Down Time (Dr. Siegel’s Suggestion): Studies have shown that engaging in leisure activities that do not have specific goals, such as reading or napping, can lead to improved mental health. Do you do this? If so, how often? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Play Time (Dr. Siegel’s Suggestion): Depending on how you define “play time,” research has long shown that everyday creativity, which involves engaging in activities like drawing, cooking, or writing with a creative intent, is linked to positive psychological health. Do you do this? If so, how often? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.

Social Self-Care

  1. Connecting Time (Dr. Siegel’s Suggestion): Social connections play a crucial role in psychological well-being. The presence of strong social networks and support can, as studies show us, reduce stress, enhance psychological well-being, and lower the risk of psychological distress, including depressive symptoms and anxiety. How often do you center this as a priority? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.
  1. Support Systems: Longitudinal data from multiple studies have confirmed that social networks and support play a significant role in mental health maintenance over time. So how well are you centering and strengthening support systems in your own life? I do this:
  • Rarely. I really don’t do this well unfortunately.
  • Sometimes I do this but I’m pretty average at it.
  • Often! I do this well mostly.

How can professional support help you build your self-care foundation?

While the biopsychosocial basics might seem straightforward, many people with relational trauma find that implementing them consistently requires therapeutic support to address the underlying beliefs and nervous system responses that make self-care feel dangerous or selfish.

Emotional Regulation

Emotional regulation is the capacity to manage the intensity, duration, and expression of your emotional responses. For relational trauma survivors, this capacity was often underdeveloped because the caregivers who should have modeled and co-regulated emotions were themselves dysregulated — or the source of the dysregulation.

A skilled therapist can help you understand why something as simple as regular meals or adequate sleep might trigger anxiety or guilt, tracing these reactions back to early experiences where basic needs weren’t safely met. In therapy, you’re not just learning about the importance of these foundations—you’re actually rewiring the neural pathways that have long equated self-neglect with safety.

This process often involves grieving what you didn’t receive in childhood while simultaneously learning to provide it for yourself now. For those feeling overwhelmed by the complexities of midlife while trying to establish these basics, exploring what makes life feel so challenging during your thirties and forties can help contextualize why building these foundations might feel particularly difficult at certain life stages.

The therapeutic relationship itself becomes a space where you can practice receiving care and support, gradually internalizing that you’re worthy of having your basic needs met—not as a reward for productivity, but simply because you exist and deserve wellness.

How can you reflect further on your biopsychosocial self-care basics?

Use this list of questions to think through how frequently or well you do each of your foundational self-care activities. After reviewing each section, consider the following prompts:

  • What small changes can I make to improve any of these self-care routines?
  • Which areas need more attention and how can I address them?
  • What specific steps can I take to better incorporate these practices into my daily life?

By addressing these questions and integrating these basics, you can better fill “drawer one” of your self-care toolkit and enhance your overall well-being.

And now I’d love to hear from you:

Did this worksheet feel helpful to you as you begin to think about the biopsychosocial basics in your own self-care tool chest? Which of these tools do you do particularly well and which one might need a little more time and energy to develop? What might you choose to do to build that tool further?

And if you feel so inclined, please leave a message. Our community of 30,000 blog readers can benefit from your share and wisdom.

Here’s to healing relational trauma and creating thriving lives on solid foundations.

Warmly,

Annie

RESOURCES & REFERENCES

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I know self-care is important, but I feel guilty taking time for myself. How can I overcome this feeling?

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It’s common for high-achievers to feel guilt around self-care, often stemming from a belief that productivity equals worth. Understanding self-care through a biopsychosocial lens helps recognize it as a fundamental need, not a luxury, supporting your overall well-being and capacity to thrive. Prioritizing your biological, psychological, and social needs is essential for sustained success and emotional health.

My anxiety often feels overwhelming, even when I’m doing well. How does understanding the biopsychosocial model help me manage it?

The biopsychosocial model offers a holistic view of your anxiety, acknowledging its biological roots, psychological patterns, and social triggers. By identifying these different facets, you can develop a more comprehensive self-care strategy that addresses each area. This approach moves beyond just coping, helping you build resilience and a deeper sense of inner peace.

I’ve experienced past relational trauma, and it still impacts my ability to connect with others. How can self-care help me heal these wounds?

Self-care, especially when viewed through a biopsychosocial lens, is crucial for healing relational trauma. It involves nurturing your nervous system (biological), processing emotional pain (psychological), and building healthy boundaries and connections (social). Consistent, compassionate self-care helps re-regulate your system, fostering a sense of safety and empowering you to form more secure attachments.

I often feel emotionally drained after social interactions, even positive ones. Is this a sign of poor self-care, and what can I do?

Feeling drained after social interactions can be a sign that your social self-care needs attention, especially if you’re sensitive or an empath. It’s not necessarily poor self-care, but an indicator to assess your social boundaries and energy management. Integrating restorative practices, like quiet time or mindful reflection, into your routine can help replenish your energy.

I tend to push myself constantly, even when I’m exhausted. How can I integrate the biopsychosocial approach to break this cycle?

Pushing through exhaustion is a common pattern for high-achievers, often linked to childhood emotional neglect or attachment wounds. The biopsychosocial approach encourages you to listen to your body’s biological signals, address underlying psychological drivers, and create social support systems that encourage rest. This holistic perspective helps you shift from relentless striving to sustainable well-being.

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About the Author

Annie Wright

LMFT  ·  Relational Trauma Specialist  ·  W.W. Norton Author

Helping ambitious women finally feel as good as their résumé looks.

As a licensed psychotherapist, trauma-informed executive coach, and relational trauma specialist with over 15,000 clinical hours, she guides ambitious women — including Silicon Valley leaders, physicians, and entrepreneurs — in repairing the psychological foundations beneath their impressive lives. Annie is the founder and former CEO of Evergreen Counseling, a multimillion-dollar trauma-informed therapy center she built, scaled, and successfully exited. A regular contributor to Psychology Today, her expert commentary has appeared in Forbes, Business Insider, Inc., NBC, and The Information. She is currently writing her first book with W.W. Norton.

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Annie Wright, LMFT

Annie Wright

LMFT · 15,000+ Clinical Hours · W.W. Norton Author · Psychology Today Columnist

Annie Wright is a licensed psychotherapist, relational trauma specialist, and the founder and successfully exited CEO of a large California trauma-informed therapy center. A W.W. Norton published author, she writes the weekly Substack Strong & Stable and her work and expert opinions have appeared in NPR, NBC, Forbes, Business Insider, The Boston Globe, and The Information.

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Medical Disclaimer

Frequently Asked Questions

When you grow up in survival mode, basic self-care often gets coded as dangerous or selfish in your nervous system. Rest might have meant vulnerability to attack, or focusing on your own needs might have triggered abandonment, making these "simple" activities feel surprisingly threatening to implement as an adult.

Start with sleep, as it impacts every other area—poor sleep undermines emotional regulation, physical health, and social connection. Even small improvements like a consistent bedtime or reducing screen time before sleep can create cascading positive effects across all other domains.

Rather than aiming for perfection, notice patterns in your mood and energy—if you're consistently exhausted, irritable, or disconnected, at least one area likely needs attention. The goal isn't to excel at every basic simultaneously but to maintain a sustainable baseline that supports your overall functioning.

Absolutely—especially if childhood taught you that your needs came last or that taking care of yourself meant taking away from others. This guilt is often a trauma response itself, signaling that you're breaking old survival patterns by choosing to prioritize your wellbeing.

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