“How do I know if my childhood negatively impacted me?”
I get asked this question a lot because there’s no definitive checklist for what makes a childhood dysfunctional or negatively impactful.
We come close to this with resources like Kaiser’s invaluable ACE study, but what if you don’t see yourself in the extremity of those questions asked?
Do your negative childhood experiences count as “negative” if they don’t look as “extreme” as the examples given in that study?
How do you know if your childhood negatively impacted you?
How do you know if you come from a relational trauma history if the broad strokes of your past don’t seem “extreme”?
In today’s post, I list five of the common ways that your childhood might have negatively impacted you and, more importantly, what’s possible in terms of overcoming those impacts.
If you’ve struggled with the question, “Do I have a childhood trauma history?” or ever asked yourself, “Would I benefit from relational trauma recovery work?” please read on to see if any part of what I share resonates with you.
5 Signs Your Childhood May Have Negatively Impacted You
1 ) Your moods and emotions feel like a veritable Weeble Wobble.
Do you remember that toy from the 1970s, the Weeble Wobble? You push it to one side, it falls but bounces back (thanks to the weight in its bottom). You push it to the other side and it falls down but bounces back. Always at the mercy of some external force to dictate the way it moves.
I think that, very often, for folks who come from adverse early beginnings, who come from relational trauma backgrounds, our inner lives often feel like a veritable Weeble Wobble.
You can insert a panoply of adjectives here: stormy, intense, chaotic, variable, all-over-the-place. The words all mean the same thing as the Weeble Wobble demonstrates: your mood isn’t very stable. Your mood is influenced by external forces often.
You’re perceived well and treated well, your esteem soars. You are treated or perceived poorly, your confidence plummets. You’re in a great mood and then your husband comes home in a foul mood. Yours plummets, too. You were feeling good about yourself but received a slightly terse email from your boss. You feel anxious and wonder what you did, your evening ruined as you ruminate.
For those of us from adverse early beginnings, it’s not uncommon to have challenges with emotional regulation, with emotional equanimity. And so one sign your childhood may have negatively impacted you is if your inner life – your moods and emotions – feel like a veritable Weeble Wobble. Always at the mercy of outside forces.
